A Beautiful Noise
by fleeting fancy
Summary: AU story of how Ryan came to Newport. Rated M for language, mature themes and mention of rape. Nothing graphic.Eventual Cohen plus one.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Tremendous apologies to those reading my other stories. I've had a string of events contribute to my lengthy absence. I had loaned my sister my computer for a while and then shortly after I got it back my house got broken into resulting in the theft of my laptop among other things. We then had to shell out money to replace doors and I put off buying a new computer because the husband's work situation is iffy thanks to the financial meltdown. So I was reluctant to spend the money. The computer has now been replaced and I'm trying to get back into the swing of things but I lost all of my notes on where I wanted to go with the stories and I need to take the time to reread them from the start so I can jumpstart my muses again. In the meantime, I started this story. lol. Yes, I know. Just what you all need. Another story that might leave you hanging annoyingly at some point. Alas, I must do what I must do to get my muses cooperating enough to finish the other two stories. I've started on the next chapter of "Long Way..." but haven't been able to get into the right frame of mind for "Deception" yet. At any rate, I thought I'd go ahead and upload this current story if for nothing else than to give you all this little update on the state of affairs regarding my other two stories. **

**A/N 2: AU story about how Ryan comes to Newport. Rated M for language, mature themes and mention of rape. Nothing graphic. **

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Chapter One

Sandy Cohen stepped out of the jail, having met with a client who had been picked up on a parole violation. He spots a boy sitting on the sidewalk, leaning against the building smoking a cigarette. He glances at his watch. The sun was going down and it would be dark soon. This wasn't an area that one would want to be out in after dark.

"Everything ok, kid?", he asks. The kid is facing away from him, his eyes on the entrance to the facility. He doesn't acknowledge having been spoken to. Sandy steps closer.

The boy starts as he spots him in his peripheral vision. He looks up at Sandy warily and stands, but says nothing.

Sandy asks again, "Is everything all right?"

The boy frowns and nods, taking another drag of his cigarette.

Sandy waits for some type of communication but when none comes, he sighs. He takes another stab at it. "You need a ride or can I call someone for you?"

The boy is looking away again and, as before, offers no reply.

Sandy frowns and taps him on his shoulder. His suspicions confirmed as the boy jumps at the contact. He can't hear. Just then a car comes screeching to a halt where they stand. The boy steps back as a woman exits the car and stalks up to them.

"What the hell, Ryan?", she yells. "What the hell did you boys do now?"

Ryan looks down and the woman none too gently grabs a hold of his face and forces him to look up and meet her eyes. "Uh-uh. I'm talking to you. What kind of family I got, huh? I've only had this job for a week and I get a call that my good for nothin' son has been arrested. Again!", she rants as she briefly catches Sandy's eye and then turns her attention back to Ryan. "...and you. What the hell am I supposed to do with you? Huh? You're more trouble than you're worth. Get in the car."

Sandy steps up. "Ma'am? I..uh, I'm a lawyer. I might be able to help....", he offers, not liking the way she's speaking to her son.

She turns to Ryan. "You didn't get arrested, right?" At the shake of Ryan's head she turns back to Sandy. "I don't need you. I'm done with Trey. He can rot in there like his father for all I care", she spits out. She grabs Ryan's face again and says, "I said get in the car. Now, Ryan!"

She releases him and immediately his head hangs low. He briefly looks up and gives an embarrassed look toward Sandy and does as he's told. The woman gets into the car and speeds away.

All Sandy can think is, "poor kid" as he stands on the sidewalk and watches the car disappear from view. He shakes it off and heads home to Newport.

The boy crosses his mind over the course of the next couple of weeks but he soon fades from his thoughts as his busy life takes hold.

*************************************

Seth Cohen sits alone at a table in the corner of the Crab Shack, doodling in a sketch book. He eyes the room and sees everyone else in pairs or groups of friends and sighs. God he hates Newport. He had friends in Berkeley. He wished they'd move back. His eyes land on a busboy clearing tables. He's never seen him before and deduces that he's new. As the boy starts to clear the table next to his he clears his throat and says, "Hey. How's it going?". The boy doesn't respond. Great. Even the help thinks they're too good to talk to me. He slumps in his chair and resumes his drawing.

Caleb Nichol enters and his eyes sweep the tables searching out his grandson. He's never quite adjusted to life in Newport and Caleb feels guilty. He was the one that talked Kirsten and Sandy into staying once his wife died. Seth is a unique boy and uniqueness doesn't go over well in cookie cutter Newport, full of spoiled trust fund kids. He spots the boy and frowns at his dejected posture. "Seth", he says with a smile as he approaches the table.

Seth starts and looks up. "Grandpa? What are you doing here?", he asks as he sits up straighter.

"I was in the area and I know you like to come here. I thought I'd see if I caught you and grab a bite to eat. Are you hungry? Would you like to join me?", Caleb asks as he takes a seat.

Seth sighs, looking around the room. How sad is this? Nothing but kids hang out here pretty much and here he is with his grandpa. Not that he doesn't appreciate the effort. His grandpa has been trying to get him interested in all kinds of things. He taught him to sail and tried to get him interested in his business, The Newport Group. His mom works there and he knew that his grandpa would love it if he went into the family biz but he was bored out of his skull whenever he was there. "Sure, grandpa", he says with all of the enthusiasm he can muster. They order and make idle chit chat about school and possibly going for a sail the coming weekend.

They finish eating and after a few moments the boy Seth attempted to strike up a conversation with appears at his table, presumably to remove their empty plates. Seth ignores him and begins to doodle again while the table is cleared. He hears his grandpa say thank you and looks up when, once again, the kid remains silent. The kid's head is cocked and he's obviously checking out Seth's art work. He catches Seth's eye and gives a shy smile. He points at the drawing and then pulls out an pad of paper and writes something on it. He holds it out to Seth.

_"That's really good."_

A smile breaks out on Seth's face as he realizes the boy hadn't been ignoring him earlier. He just couldn't hear him.

"Uh, thanks", he says very loudly as if that would help. Some heads turn to him and his grandpa frowns. He sheepishly looks down. He looks up again and sees the boy looking at him with eyebrows raised. "I, uh....", he starts to explain what an idiot he is but then wonders if the kid has any idea of what he's saying. "Do you, uh, read lips?", he asks carefully as he points to his mouth. The boy nods but also puts a hand up and teeters it back and forth to indicate that it's hit or miss sometimes. Seth nods and says, "cool....uh, I'm Seth". The boy writes on his pad.

_"Seth?",_ he confirms. Seth starts to introduce his grandpa but Ryan is writing something. "_Caleb Nichol. I know", _Seth nods. Of course. Everyone knows who Caleb Nichol is. Ryan writes something else and shows Seth first and then Mr. Nichol. "_My name is Ryan_. _Nice to meet you"._ He looks over his shoulder to see his boss watching. "_I'd better get back to work"_, he scribbles and then shoves the pad back into his apron. He gives Seth a smile and grabs his bin and moves on to some other tables.

Caleb doesn't miss the way the short exchange between them has perked Seth up. By the time they leave he's clearly in a much better mood than when Caleb arrived.

As they go to leave, Seth stops and taps Ryan on the shoulder carefully. He nervously shifts on his feet a little as he says they're taking off and offers a tentative, "See you around."

Ryan gives a surprised smile and nods. Most of the kids just ignore him_. _Seth gives one final wave and a "Later, dude" and they make for the exit.

Caleb casts a final glance at Ryan, who gives an acknowledging nod and turns back to his work. He smiles. Perhaps his grandson has finally found himself a friend.

***************************************

Seth enters the kitchen with a profound spring in his step that Kirsten hasn't seen a while. She glances at Sandy who is standing beside her making himself a sandwich.

"Hello, mother. Hello, father.", Seth says as he comes around and steps up between them, planting a kiss first on Kirsten's cheek and then on his father's and then bounds out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his room.

Sandy blinks and then looks at Caleb, who has now entered the kitchen. "What the hell was that about?", he asks amused. Seth's demeanor is much more subdued most of the time anymore and he sure as hell hasn't kissed him on the cheek, or given any kind of physical show of affection since he was twelve and Sandy had bought him his first skateboard. Something that Kirsten was none too happy about.

Caleb reaches down and snags one of Sandy's pickles and pulls his hand back quickly, avoiding a smack. "I took a chance that I'd find him at The Crab Shack. We had lunch and there's a new boy working there. Limited interaction as it was, they seemed to make a connection. I think he may have found someone he'd like to be friends with", Caleb explains.

Kirsten smiles and kisses him on the cheek. "That's wonderful. I hate him being alone all of the time....and thanks, dad. I appreciate the way you reach out to him."

"Well, it's the least I can do. After all, I am the reason he was ripped from his home and transplanted here in Newport", Caleb says.

"Cal. We're the ones that made the decision", Sandy offers, knowing how Caleb blames himself for Seth's isolation. Changing the subject, he asks, "So, who's this boy he met."

"We didn't speak to him much. His name is Ryan. He's a busboy....and he's deaf. So, communication was limited."

Sandy's head shot up at that. "Ryan? His name is Ryan?", he asks. Not that it would be impossible but two boys named Ryan who happen to be deaf? Not likely. "Blond hair, blue eyes and about Seth's age?"

Kirsten looks at him questioningly as Caleb acknowledges that Sandy's description is spot on. "How did you know, Sandy?", she asks.

"I met him a few weeks ago. As I was leaving the jail in Chino", he explains.

Kirsten frowns, "Jail? What was he doing at the jail?"

"From what I could gather, his brother had been arrested. He was waiting for his mother to pick him up. Let me tell you, she was a real piece of work. You should have heard the way she was talking to the poor kid", he says with a shake of his head as he remembers the rough way she handled him and the harsh words spoken.

"The way who was talking to what poor kid?", Seth asks as he re-enters the kitchen.

"Oh, uh, the kid you met today", Sandy answered.

Seth's eyebrows raise, "You know Ryan? How?"

"As I was just explaining to Cal and your mother, I met him in Chino. I met with a client and saw him sitting on the sidewalk when I came out. Apparently, his brother had been arrested. His mother was not happy and she said some very harsh things to Ryan. What do you know about him, Seth?", Sandy asked. His curiosity about the boy now peaked. Wondering how old he was and why he was working here in Newport. He'd need parental permission to get a job, and his mother didn't seem like the type that would give it.

Seth shrugged. "Not much. Just that he talked to me. Well, not talked. Wrote. Communicated. With me. In written form. On his own initiative. Which is more than I can say for anyone else I've met in this town. At least in a way other than to insult me. Figures he's from out of town", Seth says with a frown. "So, his brother's a criminal and his mom's a bitch?"

"Seth", Kirsten admonishes. "Don't say bitch."

"Sorry", Seth mumbles. "So the plot thickens. He's from Chino, cleaning up after the Newport elite......can I invite him over sometime? He seemed nice and now I'm really curious to see what his story is. Maybe I could turn it into a comic", Seth ponders aloud. "Deaf kid from the wrong side of the tracks meets up with a social outcast from the right side of the tracks. Together they team up to strike a blow to the Newport bubble and bring a new balance to the world."

Caleb shakes his head at chatterbox Seth being friends with a deaf boy. In its way it is a perfect match. He chuckles.

"And just what, pray tell, is so funny, grandfather?", Seth asks as he squints his eyes accusingly.

"Just musing to myself what an interesting pair the two of you would make", Caleb answers.

Kirsten and Sandy both smile in agreement.

"Well, honey, if you'd like to invite him over that's fine with me. I'd like to meet him, seeing as all of you have", Kirsten says. She's a little worried about his family background but it wouldn't be fair to judge this boy by their deeds. Seth needs a friend and from the sound of it so does this boy.

Sandy agrees. "I think that would be a great idea, son", he states, hoping the boy agrees. He'd hate to see Seth reach out only to be rebuffed for some reason.

*************************************************

Over the next couple of weeks Seth continues his usual routine of stopping at The Crab Shack a few times a week. Ryan often joins him for lunch when he takes his break and Seth is able to learn scant bits of information about him. He lives in Chino. It's just him and his mother, and her boyfriend AJ, now that his brother Trey got arrested. He's trying to work and save money so he can get a place of his own as soon as he's old enough. He wasn't born deaf. He lost his hearing after an accident when he was six. He doesn't know sign language because his mother didn't want to learn and didn't see the sense in his learning. He can talk but he doesn't like to. The only one he feels comfortable talking around is his brother.

Today, Seth decides that they've gotten to know each other well enough to invite him over to his house after work. He's a little nervous but it seems that Ryan likes hanging out with him. He skids his skateboard to a stop in front of The Crab Shack and looks inside. He smiles as he spots Ryan working. The smile turns into a frown, however, as he sees Luke Ward talking to him and Ryan seems to be smiling at whatever he's saying. His shoulders slump at the idea of Ryan being friends with a Neanderthal like Luke. He contemplates turning around and going back home for a moment before squaring his shoulders and going inside.

"Hey", he says to Ryan as he approaches. Ryan had seen him come in the door and waved.

"You know this queer?", Luke sneers.

Ryan frowns and writes, "_WTF? Not cool, dude_."

Luke says, "He's a geek, man".

"_I think he's cool_", Ryan writes.

Luke scoffs. "He likes comics and he dresses funny."

"Says the guy who shaves his chest", Seth mumbles.

Ryan misses Seth's words but sees Luke's face flush with anger as he starts to stand. He puts a hand on his chest and gives a look that asks, "what's going on?".

"He just made a crack about me shaving my chest!", Luke states to Ryan before tossing a glare at Seth.

He turns back when he hears a snort escape Ryan.

_"Well, you do...and you said he dressed funny_", Ryan writes.

Luke frowns and grumbles, "well he does....and he talks funny, too."

Ryan shrugs and, with a smirk, scribbles, _"I can't hear him anyway._"

Luke rolls his eyes and smiles. "Lucky you." He's quiet for a second before turning to Seth and offering a less than enthusiastic apology. He's never liked Seth. He doesn't really know why. The kid has just always annoyed him, but if he's friends with Ryan then he'll just have to deal.

Seth can tell that there's not a whole lot of feeling behind it but he accepts the apology. He's disappointed that Ryan is friends with the guy but he did defend him to Luke. So maybe he'd just have to deal. "So, uh, how'd you guys meet? Here at The Crab Shack?", he asks.

Ryan shakes his head and motions for Luke to tell the tale.

Luke smirks and says, "I saved his ass".

Ryan rolls his eyes but then nods in agreement.

"He almost got hit by a car. I pulled him out of the way", Luke says anti-climatically.

Seth raises his eyebrows and says, "wow. A very suspenseful, action packed story. It could be a movie. Really dude, I was on the edge of my seat."

Luke frowns and Ryan smacks him. _"Lighten up, man_", he writes to him. Then writes, "_you're a funny guy, Seth." _

Seth smiles and Luke settles into what could only be called a pout as Ryan writes out the rest of the story.

"_I was here looking for a job and was looking at the classifieds. No one would give me the time of day and I was getting pissed. Wasn't watching where I was going. One minute I'm stepping off the curb and the next I'm getting yanked back and fall on my ass. I look up and see Luke's ugly mug _", he writes with a smile, then shows it to Seth and Luke.

"He was a little stunned for a second and then he's looking at me like I'm talking in a foreign language and I notice him trying to focus on my lips. I figured he was either deaf or wanted a kiss. Judging from the look on his face, I settled on the former", Luke deadpans. "I pulled him up and we started talking. I told him there was an opening here", he finishes explaining.

Seth nods. "Cool", is all he says. So, they've known each other for a few weeks. He guesses he can understand a friendship being born of that.

They lapse into a bit of an awkward silence until Ryan writes that he has to get back to work. Seth and Luke study each other and then slowly nod. Ryan eyes them both bemusedly as they seem to have a standoff to see who will leave first. Luke finally says that he has to go and meet his dad. He asks Ryan if they're still on for his brothers' game on Saturday, with him and his dad. He had asked Ryan if he wanted to go and Ryan had shrugged an agreement. He and Ryan slap hands and then bump fists as Luke says he'll catch him later. Once he's gone Seth shakes off the jealous feeling he'd gotten at finding out they were hanging out outside of his work and gets to the point of his coming to The Crab Shack. "So, uh, I was wondering what time you get off?"

"_In about an hour. Why_?", Ryan asks.

"Just wondered if you wanted to maybe hang out at my house for a while before you go back to Chino", Seth says.

Ryan frowns and scribbles, "_I don't know, dude....._", he hedges. He likes Seth but he's not too sure about meeting his parents. His grandfather seemed cool but he hasn't had the best luck with parents. They get all weird around him when they realize he's deaf. He looks at Seth and sees sheer disappointment on his face. He scrambles to try to explain. He writes, "_I don't know if I'm ready to do the parent thing."_

Seth frowns, "You're going to a game with Luke and his dad".

"_I met him when I met Luke and he kinda helped convince Jake to hire me here_", Ryan explains.

Seth nods. "Oh, well, actually, you already met my dad, too. Sort of. In Chino.", Seth says. "Rumpled suit. Dark hair. Bushy eyebrows? In front of the jail?"

Ryan searches his memory and nods in recognition. He's frowning warily.

"Small world, huh?", Seth says as he chews his lip. "My grandpa mentioned you when we went home that first day I met you here and dad recognized your description from when he was meeting with a client."

Knowing by "description" that Seth means the fact that he was deaf, he takes a breath and writes, "_Oh. Ok. Are you sure it's ok with your folks?"_

Seth frowns, "Sure. Why wouldn't it be?"

"_Your dad met me at a jail. Is he ok with you inviting me over?"_

Seth nods emphatically. "Oh, yeah. It's cool. I think he and my mom are just happy I'm asking someone over. I don't really do that much. Or, like, ever. Ever since I've lived here I've been treated like I had the plague....by Luke and his buddies, and everyone else practically. I just thought we could hang out. Play some video games", he asks, eyebrows raised hopefully, mimicking the motions of having a PlayStation controller in his hands.

Ryan studies him a moment then chews his lip for a second before agreeing. "_Ok. Yeah. That'd be cool_". He doesn't really have anything that he's eager to get back to in Chino. Although, underneath, he's a little uneasy. Luke's dad is pretty cool. His mom, too, although she hasn't really been around much when he's hanging out with Luke. He doesn't want to push his luck, though. Over the course of his life many people had felt sorry for him and tried to "help" but instead making things much worse. Most people would only go so far and then wash their hands of the situation having done their good deed for the "poor unfortunate boy" by reporting their concerns about his home life to the department of child and family services. Once that happened, no one could seem to decide what or who was best for him and no one was ever willing to go that extra mile and take him in permanently and he'd eventually end up back with his mother after a stint in foster care or a group home.

"Cool", Seth says with a smile. "I'll just hang out until your shift is over", he states as he motions to a table.

*********************************************

Ryan is nervous. His stomach doing flip flops as they approach Seth's house. He vaguely remembers the man with the bushy eyebrows but now he was about to enter his house. Meet his wife. He takes a breath and readies himself for the pitying looks and fleeting eye contact as he follows Seth in. He stops as he steps into the foyer. His eyes taking in the immaculate setting before him, much like Luke's house. He's startled as Seth grabs his arm. He reads Seth's lips as he shrugs an apology before pulling him along. They enter the kitchen and all eyes turn toward them. A stunningly beautiful blonde rises from the table with a polite smile to him. Her smile brightens as she greets Seth. Ryan can't control the pang he feels in his stomach as he tries to remember if his mother has ever looked at him like that. Ryan doesn't catch the words exchanged, as he can only see the back of Seth's head. His mother seems to ask him about his day but that's all he catches as she starts to flit around the kitchen, nervously avoiding looking at him. He's used to that reaction. He looks from her to Seth, trying to catch something that would allow him an understanding of the conversation but they're both moving too much and talking too quickly. She turns to Ryan with a questioning look. Puzzled, Ryan looks to Seth. Seth says something to her and her face flushes and suddenly she's in front of him offering apologies as she uncomfortably fingers her necklace. She then carefully asks him if he would like something to drink. Ryan smiles and nods, attempting to put her at ease. Seth steps to the refrigerator and holds up a bottle of water in one hand and a bottle of juice in another and asks him which he'd like. Ryan takes the water, glad to have something to do with his hands. He hates meeting new people. They never know how to act around him. It's usually either them trying too hard to communicate and making him feel like they're talking to a two year old or they talk to everyone but him making him feel like he's invisible. He turns back to the table and his eyebrows rise as he realizes someone else is here. He recognizes Caleb, relaxing slightly at seeing a familiar face. He only met Caleb that one day and only for a few seconds but he seemed nice enough and didn't look at him like he was something you'd scrape off the bottom of your shoe.

Caleb watches as Seth finally makes proper introductions. Ryan offers a shy smile with a blush creeping into his cheeks as Kirsten smiles and says how happy she is to meet him. When Ryan turns to him he says, "Good to see you again, Ryan". Ryan steps to the table and shakes his hand firmly. Seth moves beside him, drawing his attention and motions to the family room so they can play a few rounds of PlayStation. Ryan ducks his head and follows Seth out of the room.

Kirsten plops down in a chair at the table and puts her face in her hands for a second. She casts a quick glance toward the family room and then turns back to Caleb. "Well, I handled that well", she says sarcastically.

"It was fine, Kiki", Caleb tries to reassure.

"No, dad. I was completely disrespectful and rude turning my back on him as I was talking. I just.....I wasn't thinking", Kirsten sighs. "I don't know why I was so nervous. I probably made him so uncomfortable."

"He's a teenage boy. They all feel awkward when meeting friends' parents for the first time. Besides, I'm sure he's used to people needing a little time to figure out how to speak to him. Seth drew the attention of the whole restaurant at The Crab Shack, he was speaking so loudly when he first realized that Ryan couldn't hear. He's fine, Kiki", Caleb says as he looks at the boys who are already entrenched in some video game battle. Seth is making just as much noise as usual, animatedly immersing himself in the game. Ryan casts amused glances at Seth as he also tries to focus on the game.

Kirsten and Caleb continue to work at the kitchen table, with Kirsten stopping once to bring the boys a plate of cookies and a couple of glasses of milk. Otherwise leaving the boys in peace. Their attention is occasionally drawn to the family room at Seth's exclamations and apparent frustration. Ryan, it seems, is pretty good that the video games and is giving Seth more than a run for his money.

Sandy enters the house to the sounds of video games and Seth being louder than usual. He stops as he stands in the entry to the family room, taking in Ryan intently focusing on the game and Seth shaking his head saying, "no no no. No way! No way you just did that!". Which wouldn't be so odd if it weren't for the fact that Seth now has two tissues hanging out of his ears, having been twisted and stuffed into them to block out sound.

"He wanted to try it Ryan's way, to figure out why Ryan is beating him so handily", Kirsten's soft voice comes from behind.

He whispers, "Why didn't he just turn the sound down?"

Kirsten shrugs and whispers back, "He said it's a zen thing. He needed the whole experience, with no outside disturbances from me and dad"

"Why are we whispering?", Sandy asks with a smile as he turns to Kirsten and kisses her.

"OH, EW! WE HAVE COMPANY!", Seth suddenly yells.

They turn to see Seth and Ryan watching them. Ryan quickly ducks his head and averts his eyes, studying the controller as if it were the first time he'd laid eyes on it.

Sandy walks into the room, setting his briefcase on the floor. Ryan looks back up and Sandy says that it's good to see him again. Ryan simply smiles and nods and starts chewing his lip. Sandy asks who's winning and Seth frowns while Ryan smirks. That answers that question.

"BEGINNER'S LUCK.....", Seth starts to say.

Sandy reaches up and pulls the tissue out of his ears. "Take it down a notch, son", he says with a smile.

"Oh. Right. Uh, anyway, yeah, it's just beginner's luck. On this system. In this house. Next time, I'm so kicking your ass", Seth declares as he turns back to Ryan.

"Seth...", Kirsten starts.

"I know. Don't say ass", Seth waves off.

Sandy catches Ryan's eye, "You joining us for dinner?"

Ryan frowns and appears to think about it.

"Yeah, come on, dude. After that battle we need some nourishment", Seth states. "Mom sucks at cooking but there's a lot of great take out we can order".

Ryan's eyes shoot to Kirsten's to gage her reaction to what Seth said about her cooking. That would have earned him a smack in the mouth. She doesn't look angry, though. She gives an embarrassed smile and shrugs. "It's true. I'm a horrible cook. Those cookies? Our housekeeper baked them", Kirsten admits.

Seth smacks him on the arm to get his attention. "You are so totally coming over again because Rosa never bakes me cookies anymore. She only baked them because she heard me telling mom I was going to ask you to come over today", he says in a flurry of words.

Ryan frowns and grabs his pad of paper and writes, "_I didn't quite catch all of that. You were talking a little too fast. You want me to come over again?"_

Seth frowns, "Oh, uh, sorry dude. Even people who can hear say I talk too fast. I'll work on that but, yeah, it'd be cool if you could hang out again."

"_I'd like that. I had fun kicking your ass_", Ryan writes.

"Oh. Oh, is that how it's going to be?", Seth says with an incredulous nod. "I see. Well, revenge is sweet, my friend, and next time you will find out just how sweet it is. Er, I mean, _I_ will find out how sweet it is. You will be feeling nothing but the agony of defeat. Mark my words."

_"Big talk, Seth. Just a lot of big talk",_ Ryan writes with a smug matter of fact look on his face.

Seth gives him the evil eye, "We shall see, my friend. We shall see.....So, dinner?"

Ryan glances at his watch and then starts writing. "_Sorry, man. It's getting late and I need to catch the bus home."_

"My mom or dad could give you a ride after, right?", Seth says as he turns to his parents.

Sandy and Kirsten nod and say, "Of course". "That would be no problem".

Ryan's eyes trail across the expectant faces and, after a moment, nods in agreement. It'd be nice to have a decent meal. He was trying to save money so really only usually ate once a day.

Seth's face lights up and he says, "Cool. I'll grab the menus", and then bounds out of the room.

Kirsten nervously fidgets with her necklace for a moment and then excuses herself to gather her paperwork and clear off the kitchen table.

Sandy smiles and starts to approach Ryan, stopping as he notices the boy tense and take a slight step backwards. He tries not to frown at the action and opens his mouth to speak but cannot seem to find any words. An embarrassed flush creeps into Ryan's cheeks as he ducks his head. The awkward moment is broken as Seth returns to Ryan's side and they focus on the take out menus. Sandy slips out of the room and back into the kitchen.

Seth and Ryan remain in the family room until dinner arrives. Caleb is invited to stay and they all take a seat at the table. Things are a little awkward as they try to make conversation with Ryan in between bites. They try to make them "yes" or "no" questions and Ryan sets down his fork to write a more detailed answer on occasion, with Seth reading it aloud. Dinner finished, Ryan conveys his thanks and lets them know that he really needs to get home. He tries to shrug off a ride, though, writing that he can make the next bus but Caleb insists on at least driving him to the bus stop on his way home. Feeling that he wouldn't be making Caleb go out of his way, Ryan agrees. He smiles and writes his thanks for dinner to Kirsten and Sandy and then he and Seth tap fists and Seth happily says that he'll catch Ryan later.

The ride to the bus stop is short and bathed in silence. Caleb had reached down and turned off the radio when they entered the car, misguidedly feeling guilty about being able to hear music. He opens his mouth to speak a few times but closes it again when each time he looks over Ryan is looking away and wouldn't be able to read his lips. Caleb sighs, thinking what a shame it is that the boy can't hear. He starts to wonder if he's always been deaf or if his whole world has been devoid of sound. The short stretch of silence in the car is deafening to him even though it's not complete. He can still hear the traffic surrounding them. The soft breathing of the boy next to him.

They reach the stop and Ryan finally turns to him and smiles. He gives a nod in appreciation and starts to open the door. Caleb's hand on his arm stops him. The boy jumps slightly at the contact and Caleb can see a flicker of fear in his eyes. He fights to keep his reaction from showing and instead conjures up a smile as he removes his hand. "I just wanted to say thank you for befriending my grandson. He doesn't make friends easily and, well, you seem like a nice boy", Caleb says slightly awkwardly. The boy studies his face and, for a moment, Caleb begins to wonder if he understood what was said but Ryan slowly nods with a lopsided smile and a slight blush rises in his cheeks. He reaches for his pen and paper and writes, "_Seth's cool. Tell him I'll see him around?"_. Caleb smiles and nods and the boy hops out of the car and jogs to the bus stop.

**************************************

It's only a few minutes before the bus comes but it's dark by the time he makes it back to Chino. As he approaches his house he slows and takes a breath, hoping that his mom and AJ are in the bedroom and he can slip in without notice. He carefully opens the door and enters, releasing the breath he was holding. The living room is vacant. His eyes trail over the empty beer cans and half empty bottle of rum on the coffee table. It's kind of early for them but maybe they're already passed out for the night. He heads toward his bedroom but just as he's entering the room a door across the hall swings open. AJ steps out and grabs Ryan's arm, spinning him around.

"Where the fuck have you been?", AJ snarls. "We need cigarettes. Go get some", he orders.

Ryan takes a deep breath, trying to slow the beating of his heart. He hates when AJ comes at him out of nowhere. He can smell the booze on AJ's breath and studies his eyes. He's on something. Annoyed, AJ repeats the demand and Ryan decides it would be best to just do what he says. He nods and AJ lets go of his arm and goes back into the bedroom and slams the door shut.

Ryan hurries to the gas station a couple of blocks away. The clerk knows him and if no one else is around he sells him cigarettes despite Ryan being underage. He knows that most of the time they aren't for him anyway. Ryan smiles a thank you and hurries home. When he returns AJ and his mother are in the living room, along with a guy he's never seen before. His mother doesn't even look up when he enters. Her focus on the mirror in front of her as she drags a razor blade through a small pile of cocaine, making three neat rows to snort. The strange man's eyes trail over his body looking him up and down. Ryan quickly hands the cigarettes to AJ and goes to his room and closes the door. God, he can't wait to get out of here.

About an hour later, Ryan gets up to go to the bathroom. Glancing out into the living room as he makes his way down the hall he notices the man is still there with Dawn and AJ. The room is filled with smoke and the man locks eyes with his and smiles a somewhat unsettling smile. Ryan looks away and hurries to take care of his business and get back to his room.

Dawn reaches out to pass Mickey the joint and draws his attention. He takes the joint and with a feral smile, his gaze falls on Ryan's closed bedroom door. Dawn follows his line of sight and says, "he can't hear. He won't even hear you coming. He doesn't talk much but he can, though."

AJ joins the conversation. "He can make a helluva lot of noise when he wants to. So take him down to the basement when you're ready." He takes a drag of the joint and then leans forward. "So, you get an hour with the kid and we're square on the coke and the weed, right?", he asks to make sure they have an understanding.

After a few more drinks, Dawn and AJ start making out, forgetting Mickey is even there. Almost giddy at the thought of not having to pay for the drugs.

The mere thought of the beautiful teenage boy down the hall already had Mickey squirming in his seat but the sight of AJ's hands running over Dawn's body and up her skirt has his dick twitching. It's time.

*****************************

Seth grabs a box of cereal and sits at the island counter as he waits for the coffee to brew. Just as he's about to pour the milk the phone rings. He jumps up to answer it and doesn't recognize the number. It's awfully early on a Sunday morning for a phone call.

"Cohen? Uh, hey, it's Luke" , the unexpected voice comes through the line.

Seth frowns and replies, "yeah, uh, hey Luke. What's up?"

Luke takes a breath. "It's Ryan. Me and my dad are down here in Chino. At the hospital."

"What? Is he ok?.....shit. Of course he's not ok or you wouldn't be calling from a hospital...", Seth rambles. He gathers his thoughts and tries again. "What's going on? What happened?"

"Someone messed him up", Luke says. His voice soft. "I mean, really messed him up. Look, can you ask your dad if he can come down. I know this may not be his area but my dad wants to talk to him about this....situation", he says cryptically.

"Messed him up? Messed him up how, Luke?", Seth asks, getting frustrated at the lack of real information.

"Look, man. Just....just get your dad and come down to the hospital down here. I'll fill you in then. Ok?", Luke says tiredly.

Seth's stomach churns. He's never heard Luke like this. Never even imagined that Luke could give a shit about someone else really but his voice is shaky and Seth knows that something really bad must have gone down. "Ok. I'll wake my dad and we'll head that way."

"All right. I'll see ya then. He's in I.C.U.", Luke relays and then hangs up.

"Shit", Seth whispers to himself before running to wake his dad.

***************************************

Seth and Sandy enter the ICU waiting room and see Luke slumped down in a chair in the corner. He doesn't register their presence until they're standing right in front of them. He straightens in his chair.

"How is he?", Sandy asks as he and Seth take a seat across from Luke.

Luke clears his throat and leans forward. "He was still out of it last I heard. My dad's back there talking to the doctor now."

"What happened, man?", Seth asks.

Luke breathes in deeply and exhales before speaking. He looks to Seth, "Well, you know how he was supposed to go with me and my dad to see the twins' game yesterday?" At Seth's nod, he continues, glancing back and forth between Seth and Sandy. "He didn't show. I called his house but the line was disconnected. I called The Crab Shack to see if maybe he had to go in to work but Jake said that he wasn't scheduled and was a no show for his shift on Friday. He always gets someone to call for him even if he thinks he _might _be late. So to not hear from him at all was off. So me and my dad decided to take a drive to Chino to see what was going on." He gets up and starts to pace then stops. "Hearing that he was a no show for us yesterday had Jake kinda worried about him, too, so he gave us his address. We pulled up to his house and I went up to the door. I knocked but there was no answer. I peeked in the window and didn't see anyone....." He takes his seat again, sitting on the edge of the chair. "By that time my dad had started to come up to the house and a neighbor, some old lady, walked over and said that she'd seen Dawn and AJ leave a few hours earlier. We asked if Ryan was with them and she said he wasn't. She'd seen him go in the house Thursday night but hadn't seen him since then. If Ryan was in there he wouldn't hear us knock so we tried the door. It was unlocked. We searched the house but he wasn't in any of the rooms. We were about to leave but then my dad caught sight of the basement door. It...it had a deadbolt on it........". He licked his lips and swallowed. "Who the fuck deadbolts their basement door, you know? If that wasn't odd enough, it didn't need a key. It...it obviously wasn't meant to keep anyone out. It was one meant to keep someone in. He...he was down there. We saw him right away. My dad ran down...I..he was...he..he wasn't moving.....he was a bloody mess....." , he ends in a whisper. He suddenly stands up, having spotted his dad walking toward them.

Sandy and Seth stand to greet him. "Carson", Sandy says as they shake hands. "Luke was just filling us in. He just told us you found Ryan in the basement", he says, trying to get a grasp of the situation. Trying to make sense of what he's hearing. Ryan. Locked in a basement, bloodied and unconscious.

Carson sighs and runs a hand down his face as he resignedly sits down in a chair. He glances down at himself and sees blood on his pants and on his shirt sleeves. Ryan's blood. "The cops found his mother at work." He looks up at Sandy. "Can you believe that? Her son was raped and beaten half to death and she just goes off to work like nothing."

Seth pales and shoots a look at Luke, trying to make sure heard right. Luke lowers his gaze and walks away. He turns to his dad and sees him suck in a breath and close his eyes.

"Shit", Carson says. "I....I'm sorry. I shouldn't have....". He pinches the bridge of his nose. "I didn't mean to blurt it out like that. I just.....I can't get my head around it, Sandy. He's a sweet kid. How could a mother.....", he trails off.

Sandy steps up to Seth and puts his hands on his shoulders. "Why don't you go find Luke, son. Let me talk to Carson alone. Okay?" Seth swallows and solemnly nods before turning away to seek out Luke.

Sandy takes a seat next to Carson. He takes a deep breath and then quietly speaks. "Carson, Seth said you wanted me down here specifically. What is it that you need from me? I...this is a horrible situation but I don't know what I can do here."

"His mother is playing dumb. Trying to say that she didn't know he was down there. That she rarely goes in the basement. She's saying she wasn't there when whatever happened....happened and that she often doesn't see Ryan for days at a time and just thought he'd been staying with friends. That's bullshit, Sandy. He can't go back to her. She cannot keep custody of him. The hospital has a file on him. He's been in foster care before. They called his social worker and they're not going to let Ryan go back home until they investigate but, obviously, they've returned him to their custody before and I'm afraid they're going to do it again." He stops and turns to Sandy. "I....I want him, Sandy. I want him to stay with us. I've talked to Meredith and the boys and they all want Ryan to stay with us. I thought, as soon as Ryan wakes up, that we could talk to him. You could represent his interests and we could prove that it's an unsafe environment. There was alcohol and drug paraphernalia all over the place. Maybe you could....persuade the state to....."

Sandy holds up a hand, "Ok...whoa. Let me just....hold on, Carson." He rubs his forehead and blows out a breath. "Is his social worker here?" At Carson's shake of the head he amends. "Do you know their name?". Carson says he can't think of her name right now. "Ok. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go find out who his social worker is and see if I can track her down and get a clearer picture of Ryan's situation. Then we'll go from there. Are you sure, Carson? This...this kid's got a lot of baggage. His hearing disability and now this. He's going to need a lot of emotional support."

Carson looks Sandy in the eye. "I'm sure. I've spent a lot of time with him since Luke and I met him. The twins love him. Meredith hasn't spent a lot of time with him but she likes him. He needs someone, Sandy. His brother is in jail. He knows us. He's comfortable with us. "

Sandy sees the resolve there and agrees. "Okay, Carson. Let me see what I can find out."

****************************

"Hey", Seth says softly as he approaches Luke sitting on bench outside of the hospital. Luke slides over so Seth can sit down but he says nothing. They sit in silence for a few minutes.

"Have you ever heard Ryan talk?", Luke asks suddenly.

Seth looks over at him and says, "No. I know he can but he said he doesn't like to talk around anyone but his brother".

Luke nods. "Yeah, me neither. I mean, I've heard him kinda laugh and make a few sounds but I've never heard him say anything........" He rubs and hand down his face and leans forward, with his elbows on his knees wringing his hands in front of him. "He started to come around when the paramedics got there. He wasn't wearing anything but boxers and my dad had covered him with his jacket but when the paramedics went to touch him...to check him over...he woke up and freaked. He scrambled into the corner and...and he started whimpering. My dad kneeled in front of him and tried to calm him down but he wasn't seeing my dad. He'd just curl himself up tighter and try to push himself further into the wall." He takes a deep breath and leans back in the seat, "they finally just had to sedate him. He's been out ever since."

Seth is quiet, not knowing what to say to all of that. Finally he asks, "do they know who......"

"The cops are looking for this AJ dude that lives with them", Luke answers with disgust in his voice. After a moment of silence Luke says, "My dad wants him to live with us. That's why he wanted your dad to come down."

Seth glances over with eyebrows raised. "Wow. That's...that's really cool."

Luke nods. "Yeah, he's really torn up about this. He likes Ryan a lot. Ryan gets along great with Brad and Eric. He's been teaching them some great soccer moves. He's pretty good. I hope your dad can make it happen. He...he can't go back home. Not if his mom lets freaks like that in their house I just.....I can't wrap my head around it, man."

"If it's possible, my dad will make it happen", Seth assures. Praying to Jesus and Moses that it's true. He hasn't known Ryan long but he knows he doesn't belong in Chino. "He has to", he finally adds quietly.

Luke leans back in the seat and nods. "I have no idea what I'm going to say to him. I mean, what the hell do we say to him?", he asks as he looks out across the hospital parking lot.

"I don't know, man, but we'll figure it out. He'll be ok", Seth says with all of the confidence he can muster.

"Yeah", Luke says with a sigh.

"Yeah", Seth echoes, though neither are sure of anything right now.

****************************

to be continued......


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This one was a little tough and I had intended to stay consistent and make it as long as the first chapter but I decided to just use the halfway mark as a stopping point. So the end may feel a little abrupt. It was taking a bit longer to write than I had anticipated and it was either give you a truncated chapter now or wait another week for the whole thing. I opted for the former, obviously. lol. I go into a little more detail of what happened to Ryan here but only leading up to the rape. I leave the details out once I hit that part. Also, I'm not a person who likes to do research so the legal aspects of this may be way off base. lol. I'm just pulling this stuff out of my ass so consider anything that doesn't quite jibe with the real world just my little AU justice system. lol **

**********************************************

Chapter Two

The smell of antiseptic and bleach invade Ryan's senses. He recognizes the smell and knows immediately where he is. He jumps at a touch on his arm. The hand pulls back but then returns gently patting his arm. He slowly opens his eyes to see a nurse smiling down at him, mouthing assurances that his fuzzy brain can't quite make out. It doesn't matter. He's happy to be anywhere but home. He closes his eyes again and relaxes into the stiff hospital sheets and tries not to think about why he's there.

Nurse Tomlin exits the room and approaches Dr. Paulson, who is speaking with the small group of people gathered there for Ryan.

"Excuse me, Doctor. You wanted me to let you know when Ryan woke up", she says as all eyes turn to her. "He came to just a moment ago".

A flurry of voices come at her, everyone talking at once asking if he was all right. She holds up a hand and smiles gently. "It was only for a moment. He appeared a little unfocused but he seemed to know where he was. He immediately drifted back off to sleep", she said to the doctor.

"All right. Thank you, Carla. If you'll excuse me, I'd like to check him over", Dr. Paulson says and then turns to leave.

Carson reaches out and stops him with a hand on his arm. "Could you make sure Ryan knows that we're here? Let him know he's not alone?"

"Of course", Dr. Paulson says with a smile, then makes his way to Ryan's room.

Carson lets out a breath as he turns to his son, who has returned to a chair in the waiting room along with Seth. "Luke?", Carson says questioningly, noting the down-turned expression on his face.

Luke looks up and says, "I was just trying to imagine.....you know, what it must be like for him. Waking up in a hospital. I mean, it's bad enough for anyone but he can't hear". He shakes his head. "When I had my appendix out last year I could at least hear people coming and going and would usually wake up when they came in to prod me. I just.....it must be weird for him".

Beside him, Seth softly agrees. "Yeah", is all he says but his thoughts go further. Thinking about how easy it would be for someone to sneak up on him. Wondering if Ryan had a chance to see them coming at him. Thinking about how scary it must've been if he didn't. Just having someone suddenly.....he shudders. He looks up at Mr. Ward and asks, "Do you think we'll be able to see him?"

"I hope so, Seth. The staff knows he doesn't have any family. I'm sure they'll take that into consideration. And if they don't, I'll make a diversion and you and Luke can make a break for it", he says with a tight smile and a wink, trying to lighten the mood.

Luke and Seth both give a small smile before Seth wonders aloud how his dad is coming along with the social worker. Right on cue, Sandy walks determinedly to where they're sitting. Seth sits up, "so?", he asks.

"I've laid some groundwork, but I need to get in to talk to Ryan and it's still going to come down to what can be proven. How much Dawn knew and what Ryan has to say", Sandy states. "He's been reluctant to talk in the past, according to his social worker".

"Why? Why would he keep quiet?", Seth wonders.

"It's complicated, Seth. There are a whole host of reasons that a child doesn't tell that they're being abused, psychological and otherwise. Sometimes they don't think anyone will believe them. Often the parent comes up with a convincing story when they're young, that's immediately accepted, no questions asked. The kids....they're taught not to tell any different. They don't feel they have a voice and, with Ryan being deaf, any real attempts at communicating with him may have been bypassed. ", Sandy tries to explain.

Seth nods and muses aloud, "No wonder he wanted to move out on his own as soon as possible".

Carson looks from Seth to Luke and asks, "Did Ryan ever talk to either of you about his home life?"

Luke shook his head. "Not to me. I mean, I used to offer to give him a ride home but he never went for it. He'd make excuses and he never talked about his family. I just figured he was embarrassed about where he lived after seeing our houses".

"Yeah, he didn't let much go about them. I just knew he wanted to get out of there and that his brother was arrested for stealing a car", Seth offered. "I did find out that he doesn't know sign language because his mom didn't want to learn....oh, and he said he hasn't always been deaf. He said that when he was six he, uh, had.......an accident.......", he trails off, the word suddenly taking on a new meaning. He glances at the others and sees that their thoughts seem to have taken a similar turn.

"Mr. Ward?", a voice comes from behind Carson.

He rises and extends a hand. "Detective Gibson. Uh, this is.....", he starts to introduce Sandy.

"Sandy Cohen. We've met a time or two", he says with a smile.

Sandy stands and also extends a hand. "Andy. I would say good to see you again but...."

Andy nods grimly. "Yeah. How is he? ", he inquires of Ryan's condition.

"The doctor is in with him now. We haven't been able to see him yet. A nurse said he woke up briefly", Carson says.

"Did she give a sense of how alert he was?", Andy asks.

"Said he seemed to know where he was before he drifted off again", Carson replies. "Have you found out anything?"

Andy sighs. "Dawn's sticking to her story. We're going to have to let her go soon. We have nothing to hold her on unless Ryan can tell me something I can use or we can prove she was there. We have an A.P.B. out on AJ. No sign of him yet at any of his usual haunts. I think he may have been tipped off that we're looking for him. I need to get a statement from Ryan", he says as he turns to Sandy. "I hate to do this to the kid but you know how it is. The sooner the better."

Sandy nods. "Do you know Ryan? You sound pretty familiar with the family", he asks.

Andy smiles sadly. "Yeah. I know the kid. Even had to run him in once, before I made the move up to detective". At Sandy's raised eyebrows he explains, "he didn't do anything wrong. Wrong place, wrong time. Hanging with the wrong crowd. One of which was his brother, who he was trying to talk out of doing something stupid. He's a good kid." He's quiet for a moment before he adds, "I took a few domestic disturbance calls." A dark shadow falls across his face. "My first call out to his house was an emergency call when Ryan "fell" off the porch. Hit the sidewalk below pretty hard. He was unconscious when we rolled up. He couldn't have been more than 6 or 7. I could see in his brother's eyes that there was more going on there but one look from his dad and he clammed up. I reported my suspicions but no one was talking".

"He said he lost his hearing when he was six. Could that have been the "accident" he was talking about?", Seth asks as he looks to his dad and Carson, a knot twisting in his stomach.

Andy nods and says, "It was. I checked up on him that night after my shift. At the time the doctor didn't know exactly why a head injury like that would affect his hearing or if it was permanent or not." He sighs and rubs a hand across his chin. "I wish I could have done more for him over the years. The one time someone actually stepped up and admitted that they witnessed any abuse he and Trey were both removed from the house but the next thing I knew they were back home. Their dad got arrested a few years ago for armed robbery. I thought maybe with his old man out of the picture things would be better but then Dawn just started bringing home men like AJ. The yelling and the fighting was constant and people just got used to it. They stopped calling."

"Yeah, well, he's not going back to that house if I can help it", Carson states firmly.

Sandy informs him of Carson's intent on having Ryan live with him and that he is already unofficially working on Ryan's behalf until he can get in to see Ryan to get his ok that he represent him. After a beat he says, "That's good to hear, Sandy. He couldn't have a better lawyer in his corner". He tips his head toward the hall and says, "Ok, then, I'd better go see if the doc gives the green light for me to talk to him". Giving them all one last look he turns with a smile on his face. It's about time the kid's got some decent folk in his corner.

***************************************

Detective Gibson enters Ryan's room and winces at the bruising on his face. The kid's eyes are closed so he gently taps Ryan's hand as he approaches the bed. As expected, Ryan recoils and panicked eyes fly open. Andy remains still, waiting for Ryan to process and he gives a soft smile as Ryan blinks a couple of times and relaxes at a familiar face. "Hey", he says as he pulls a chair up. Dispensing with any pleasantries, he decides to get to the crux of the matter. "I think you can guess why I'm here." Ryan holds his gaze briefly before his shame filled eyes skitter away.

Andy reaches out slowly and tips his face back up, ignoring the slight flinch at the touch. "You've got nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing", he says pointedly. When Ryan finally nods he asks, "Can you tell me who hurt you?" He frowns at the shake of Ryan's head. He had hoped that this violation would force Ryan from his old habits. "Look, Ryan, if AJ....." He stops as Ryan starts vigorously shaking his head. "It wasn't AJ?", he asks as he attempts to understand.

Ryan starts to shake his head again but stops and sighs, frowning in frustration.

Andy holds up a finger and reaches down. He knew that communication with Ryan would be difficult so he'd brought his laptop. He pulls it out of his bag and sets it on the bed tray and turns it on, opening a document page. "Can you tell me what happened, Ryan?", he asks as he slides the tray closer. Ryan shifts uncomfortably but eventually straightens in the bed and nods.

They take it slow, with Detective Gibson typing out questions and letting Ryan answer, occasionally cutting in to clarify his answers.

"Do you know the person who assaulted you?"

_I never saw him before that night. I don't know his name. _

"Were AJ and your mother there when it happened?"

Ryan reads the question and his shaking hands hover above the keyboard. He turns his eyes to Detective Gibson and his lips part.

"Yes."

It echoes through the room and in Andy's head. He hadn't heard Ryan speak since he was about eight years old. He had been in his patrol car driving down a run down street full of abandoned buildings and vacant warehouses. Ryan had run out into the street and waved him down. He rolled down the window and Ryan was frantically asking him to help him. He had tried to ask what was wrong but all Ryan would say was, "Trey! You have to help!" as he tried to pull open his door and get him to come with him. They had been goofing around exploring the empty buildings. Trey breaking a few windows. They then had tried to climb a fire escape on the side of one of the buildings to get to the roof. Trey had convinced Ryan that it would be easy. All they had to do was climb the lower ladder part and then it was all stairs until the last twenty feet or so, which was another ladder that led up to the roof and he'd told Ryan that he'd let him go first so that he could make sure he didn't lose his footing. They'd made it near the top when the old rusted ladder broke away from the building. It hadn't completely come loose but the sudden start and stop of the movement was enough to cause Trey to lose his grip and he fell to the landing about twenty five feet below. Ryan had been scared going up so his grip was tight and he had managed to hold on. He had clung to the ladder with his eyes clenched shut and when he was sure the ladder wasn't going to move anymore he slowly opened his eyes. He looked down and was horrified to see Trey down below, clearly in pain. He slowed his breathing and then carefully climbed down to him. Trey hadn't been seriously injured but had dislocated his shoulder and broken an ankle in the fall. Unable to get Trey down, Ryan had to climb all the way down by himself and go for help.

He's pulled from his thoughts as Ryan turns his attention back to the screen in front of him and types out his answer again and they continue getting Ryan's statement down.

"Can you start from the beginning and tell me as much as you can remember?"

_I'd just gotten home from having dinner with the Cohens. _

"Do you remember approximately what time it was?"

_8:30 maybe? AJ sent me back out for cigarettes. The guy wasn't there then but he was when I got back. He creeped me out. _

"Creeped you out how?"

_Just the way he looked at me. I went right to my room. I stayed in there mostly. I don't like to be out there when......._

Ryan hesitates, not knowing just how much to tell.

"It'll help if you can tell me everything you remember, Ryan."

_They were doing drugs. I don't like to be around that, so I stayed in my room. I came out once to use the bathroom and the guy was still there. _

"Do you know how much time had passed?"

_About an hour I guess. They were smoking some weed. The room was full of smoke and I could smell it. I went right back to my room. I must've fallen asleep. I don't know how long but next thing I know I'm being pulled out of my bed. He had my arms pulled behind me and a hand over my mouth. He started dragging me down the hall and I bit his hand. Then I called out for my mom..._

"But she....she didn't come", he says aloud, voice catching. Ryan pauses, trying to fight back the emotion welling up inside of him.

Detective Gibson silently curses Dawn Atwood as Ryan can't stop the tears from coming. He watches as Ryan angrily wipes them away and sucks in a shaky breath and begins typing again.

_She didn't come. Then AJ was there. He hit me a couple of times and then helped get me to the basement. He grabbed my face and said...._

He meets Andy's eyes. Andy nods, encouraging him to continue as he pats his leg. He takes another breath, working up his courage and continues. Determined to get through this.

_He said the guy paid for an hour and he was going to get it. I didn't understand but then I looked at the guy and I knew. I freaked and tried to get out. I made it to the stairs but AJ was on me again. He hit me a few more times and I think he would have kept going but the guy stopped him. He said something to AJ and then AJ left. _

"Could you make out any of what the guy said?"

Another pause. Ryan's stomach churns as he swallows down the nausea building.

_only the last part. He said he wanted me awake. _

Andy closes his eyes briefly but keeps his gameface on.

"You're doing great, Ryan. I know this is hard but we're almost done. I need you to tell me what happened next. Can you do that for me?"

Ryan nods and seems to disconnect himself from it as he solemnly types non stop until he's finished. Andy reads it over and praises him for being so brave and looks him in the eye as he tells him again that he has nothing to be ashamed of. He steps out to ask a nurse if there is somewhere he can take his memory card or laptop and print off a copy of the statement and when he returns he has Ryan look over it once more and sign it. Before leaving, he informs Ryan that Carson, Sandy, Luke and Seth are out in the waiting room and asks if he'd like to see anyone. Ryan looks uncertain and Andy tells him that they just want to see if he's all right. When Ryan gives no indication, he says to Ryan that he should at least speak to Sandy, as he has something important to discuss with him. At Ryan's furrowed brow, he smiles softly and says, "It's good news, Ryan. At least, I think it is. He and Carson, they want to help you. Will you let them? Can I send him in?"

Ryan bites his lip and them winces, forgetting that part of it is split open from AJ. After a beat he finally nods in agreement.

Andy leaves and as soon as he steps back out into the hall he walks determinedly to the waiting room. They all look up when he enters. Carson is the first to him. "Is he all right?", he asks.

"He's....he's coping as best he can", he replies.

Sandy asks, "Did he tell you what happened?"

Andy's face hardens. "Yes. He told me everything. It....it's....", he trails off not bothering to finish and then shakes his head and runs a hand down his face. "I need to get back to the station and arrange for a sketch artist to come work with Ryan in case I can't get Dawn to talk."

"It wasn't AJ?"..."So Dawn _was_ there?", Sandy and Carson simultaneously ask.

Andy shakes his head to Sandy's question but then amends. "AJ's not the one that did the sexual assault but he played a part. He inflicted a fair share of the damage." To Carson, he says, "Yes. Dawn was there. I really can't tell you any more than that. I'm sorry....Sandy, I told him you wanted to speak to him and he agreed. If he accepts you as a representative then you might have access to this statement, and Carson, if you are allowed to foster him the social worker might deem it necessary that you know what you're going to be up against but until then...."

Sandy waves a hand cutting him off. "We understand", he says as Carson nods in agreement.

"All right then. I'm going to head back. I have a few more questions for Dawn Atwood", he says, a hard edge to his voice.

Sandy turns to Seth and Luke, who have been silently listening to the back and forth. "I'll see if he's up to seeing you."

"Thanks Mr. Cohen", Luke says. "Tell him we won't stay long. We just....."

"Yeah, we just want to......", Seth adds as they both try to explain what neither of them really know they're trying to say.

Sandy smiles gently. "I'll tell him."

************************************************

Ryan sees movement out of the corner of his eye and he turns to see Mr. Cohen enter his room He straightens in the bed as Sandy offers a small smile. "How are you doing, kid?". He shakes his head. "Stupid question. Nevermind."

Ryan just shrugs his shoulders.

He studies Ryan for a second. The kid is clearly exhausted. He's got two black eyes from his broken nose. Dr. Paulson had covered his injuries with him and Carson despite the normal "family only" rule. A broken nose, some bruised ribs and some tearing from the sexual assault among the most serious. He suppresses a shudder at the thought of that last one. He's taken aback at how young and lost he looks. He is young. The same age as Seth. He shakes himself from his train of thought, realizing that Ryan is waiting for him to speak. "Ok, look, I won't bother with the small talk, kid. What would you think about staying with the Wards when you get out of here?", he asks. He watches as surprise and confusion flash across Ryan's face.

"Why?", Ryan asks, too emotionally and physically spent to seek other ways of communication.

Sandy hides his shock at the unexpected sound of Ryan's voice. "Carson called me and asked me to help try to arrange for you to live with them. They want to help you. I want to help you. If you'll let me."

Ryan studies his face but says nothing. He's been down this road before. People always have good intentions to start with but things never work out.

"I'd like to represent you. To speak on your behalf, legally, in case they try to give you back to her. You don't want to go back to your mother do you?"

"No!", the word comes quickly and panicked.

"All right, then. Do I have your permission to be your legal representation?", he asks.

Ryan frowns and says, "No money".

"I'm not worried about the money but we'll work something out if you want."

Ryan nods but Sandy can still see the uncertainty in his eyes. "Ryan, I won't lie to you. I've spoken to your social worker and there are a few favors I won't be afraid to call in. I think she's very open to the idea but as I'm sure you know, the system makes bad decisions sometimes".

Ryan rolls his eyes and nods in acknowledgment. He knows that all too well.

"Just know that I'll do my best to keep you safe", Sandy says holding Ryan's gaze to drive the point home. He then says, "Luke and Seth, are outside. I know you're tired, kid, but it would mean a lot to them if they could see for themselves that you're all right. Carson, too."

Ryan nods his agreement and Sandy gives him a wink and tells him to hang in there as he leaves the room. A few seconds later the door opens again. Ryan watches as shock briefly flashes in Seth's eyes at the sight of him but he quickly masks it. His eyes shift to Luke and his dad and he sees relief flash in theirs. Luke and Seth approach the bed and each tap fists with Ryan.

Carson hangs back and lets the boys have a moment. Ryan still looks rough but it's better than the dried blood all over his face from the cut above his eye and other injuries. He flashes back to the sight of Ryan on the floor with pools of blood beneath him, from his broken nose and split lip.

"I'm glad you're...uh, I was gonna say ok but that probably wouldn't be right and I can't say that I'm glad you're not ok because that would be stupid and I....", Seth rambles until Luke punches him in the arm. "Ow", he mumbles.

"Just shut up, dude. Shit, man", Luke says, annoyed.

"Well, at least I'm not standing there with my mouth hanging open like an idiot", Seth shoots back.

"No, your mouth has words coming out of it, proving you _are_ an idiot", Luke replies.

Ryan's eyes follow the back and forth like a tennis match with an amused smile breaking out on his face. He relaxes into the bed, shaking his head.

Carson clears his throat and says, "Boys".

They both turn to him and then look at Ryan, who has a smirk on his face. They both offer apologies and Ryan waves his hand dismissively and says, "It's ok".

Both Luke and Seth's eyebrows raise in shock and Ryan laughs out loud.

"Look, man, we just wanted to make sure you were gonna be ok and, uh, let you know that we'll be around", Luke says after he absorbs the fact that Ryan just spoke out loud.

"Yeah, we'll be back tomorrow. You want us to bring anything?", Seth asks, thinking to himself that Ryan doesn't sound that different than other people. He shouldn't be embarrassed and he wonders how much of the difference he's hearing is due to the broken nose.

Ryan shakes his head. "No. Thanks, though".

"All right, man. We'll see you later", Luke says and they all tap fists again.

Ryan gives a sigh of relief as they go and Carson approaches. He sits on the edge of the hospital bed and asks, "how are you?"

Ryan doesn't answer. Instead asking, "you really want me to live with you?".

"Yes", Carson says simply.

"You're sure?", Ryan asks.

Carson smiles and says, "We'd love to have you live with us. The twins could use some more soccer tips". He watches as Ryan smiles and looks down at his hands. He taps Ryan's hand and waits for him to look up. "Hey, I know it's a lot to ask right now but....trust us?"

Ryan studies his face and can see that the man understands what he's asking. He's had a lot of people let him down in his life but, God help him, he does trust these people.

**************************************************

For once in Ryan's life things seem to be working out. AJ and Dawn had placed blame on each other when each was presented with the case against them. AJ, not wanting to go down alone, had claimed that it was Dawn's idea to trade Ryan for the drugs and named Ryan's attacker. The case against Dawn was shaky. She had changed her story to say that while she was indeed in the house when it happened she was high and didn't know what was going on. she claimed that she lied because she didn't want to admit to the drug use. Ryan was unable to argue the fact. He just remembered seeing her there in the living room when AJ and Mickey had forced him into the basement but he couldn't attest to her state of mind. Detective Gibson offered her a deal. She would still be charged with neglect but if she signed over her parental rights she would not be charged as an accessory to the rape of her son. They hadn't wanted Ryan to have to testify and AJ and Mickey had already copped guilty pleas.

Things moved quickly after that. Ryan was released from the hospital and the Ward's were approved as foster parents. Mickey had tested negative for the HIV virus, which was a huge relief to everyone. Carson and Meredith arranged for Ryan to see a therapist. He hadn't been too happy with the idea but he liked the one they found for him and it did seem to help being able to talk about it to someone who didn't expect anything of him.

With each day that went by Ryan was beginning to settle more and more into his new life. Living with the Wards was such a change but a welcome one. They had arranged with Jake that Ryan could keep the job at The Crab Shack in the summers but when school started he was to focus on that. He felt funny about taking money from them after all they'd done for him but he could live with that. He was due to start school with Luke and Seth in a few weeks. Dr. Kim had been concerned about him being able to keep up with the curriculum but he'd passed the entrance exam easily and his teachers in Chino had given him glowing reports. The only time his grades had suffered was when he missed a lot of school but with his being out of Dawn's care Carson had assured her that that would no longer be a problem. Ryan was a little nervous about fitting in. Some of the kids knew him from The Crab Shack but he was worried about people finding out how and why he was living with the Wards but he'd cross that bridge when he came to it.

For now, he wasn't going to worry. The Cohens had invited them over to dinner. Sandy was grilling. As Ryan sat by the pool watching Luke and Seth and their endless bickering he couldn't hold back the smile. He didn't think those two would ever really get along that well but he appreciated the fact that they consistently tried to put aside their differences for him. He turned his attention to Carson and Sandy who were, apparently, discussing proper grilling technique while Kirsten and Meredith were gossiping in the kitchen, and the twins were, oddly enough, trying to teach Caleb some tricks with the soccer ball. He shakes his head at the surreal scene, feeling he has finally turned a corner and left the Atwood Curse behind.

to be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Carson comes to a stop in the entry to the kitchen, taking in the sight of Ryan sitting at the table going through his backpack to make sure he has everything he needs. Again. The kid has been nervous about starting at Harbor. Knowing Seth and Luke will each be in a couple of his classes have helped but he will be flying blind in the rest, so to speak. Dr. Kim has asked those teachers to arrange for a fellow student to help him with his notes and keep him up to speed if he is unable to follow along. Some of the teachers already have deaf students, or had them in the past, and know to try to face the class as much as possible. Ryan has always gone to public schools and was integrated into regular classes in the fourth grade and had to adapt accordingly so no one really thinks he'll have any significant problems but those first day jitters seem to be taking their toll. His breakfast remains barely touched, with Ryan having chewed on his thumbnail more than his food when they were all gathered at the table this morning.

Carson flickers the kitchen lights to catch Ryan's attention. The boy is still easily startled so they all try to make sure he knows they are entering a room. They had an electrician install a light switch outside of Ryan's room to act as a "knock" when someone wants to enter his room. They made other modifications as well. The lights also flash when someone rings the doorbell and they have installed smoke detectors that flash as well as make noise. They purchased a TTY phone and text answering machine for the kitchen and they all have the same cell phones, designed for easy texting so that they can communicate easier. No more pad and paper was necessary. Ryan can just type out what he needs to say and show it to whomever he's trying to talk to. He speaks around the family and around the Cohens sometimes but when around strangers he reverts back to nods and written words.

Dr. Kim insisted to them that he use verbal communication as much as possible when in school. Telling them that she intended to inform his teachers to encourage verbal answers from him but Carson got her to agree to ease into that and accept a verbal answer only when and if Ryan was comfortable enough to do so of his own initiative. He told her they would encourage him to speak in school but wouldn't push too hard. He doesn't want Ryan to be forced to speak in front of a classroom of strangers just yet if he isn't ready. He doesn't want anyone to force Ryan to do anything that isn't of his own choosing. Especially not after what he's just been through. His therapist told them that somewhere along the line choosing when to speak and to whom had given Ryan a sense of control over his life. It gives him a power he could never feel at home. Who he decides to share his voice with is a clear indication of his comfort level and state of mind.

While Ryan can speak, he does best with words he'd learned before he lost his hearing. Learning to say new words has always been a struggle. Trey tried to help him with words that had the same sounds as words he already knew, like his teachers did at school, but the older he got the harder it was for him to figure out how to say them without being able to hear how the words sounded as they left his lips and teasing from other children had dampened Ryan's eagerness to try to learn how to say new words and once he was integrated into regular classes teachers were more concerned about the class as a whole and were no longer attuned to Ryan's individual needs. They accepted written answers and didn't push for him to address the class or answer out loud. At home it was the opposite. Dawn gave him no choice but to speak. She refused to wait long enough for Ryan to write anything out. Instead, grabbing his face and telling him to talk. Then she'd get frustrated when she couldn't make out what Ryan was trying to say. Ryan always had a hard time figuring out what was expected of him, constantly receiving mixed signals.

The school started to teach him sign language that first year and Ryan would come home after learning knew words, eager to share what he'd learned, only to have Dawn swat his hands away and make him speak. At one of the few parent teacher conferences she'd gone to she demanded they stop teaching Ryan "that shit". In her view, Ryan was the one with the problem so he should be the one to adapt. She felt that no one else in the real world was going to understand the signing so she didn't feel it would do him any good. They had then encouraged her to work with Ryan on his speaking and showed her some techniques to use but Dawn had barely paid attention. She'd brought both Ryan and Trey that day, since she couldn't pay a babysitter. Trey paid close attention to what the teacher was telling Dawn and did his best to follow through with Ryan. Every day Ryan would be sent home with a list a words he was to practice spelling and speaking and Trey would sit with him in his room and work with him as best he could. He learned quickly not to bother going to Dawn for help.

At the flashing of the lights, Ryan looks up from his backpack and smiles sheepishly. Carson laughs as he approaches and lays a gentle hand on his shoulder. Something he's made a point to keep doing despite the constant flinching when Ryan was first out of the hospital. He doesn't touch him suddenly, instead taking slow deliberate movements and pulling back if Ryan shows signs of wanting to pull away but continuing on if Ryan doesn't seem too freaked. He wants Ryan to get used to being touched without it hurting. He wants him to know that not every man is someone to fear and it seems to be working. He accepts Carson's, and even Sandy's, hand on his back or arm across his shoulders, relaxing after he briefly tenses at the initial contact. "You'll be fine", he assures.

Ryan nods and sighs. "It's just....diff'rent from Chino".

Carson smiles. "That it is", he says as he pulls out his cell and texts the rest. "_The scenery may be different but the concept is the same. You did ok in regular classes in Chino, right? Your grades were great. Better than Luke's last year." _He winks as he meets Ryan's eyes. Ryan chuckles a little and then nods and gives a little shrug of the shoulders. _"You'll be ok here, too. Luke and Seth will be there to help you in a few classes and Dr. Kim has someone picked out to help you in the others if you need it."_

Ryan chews his lip and then finally smiles. "Yeah. I'm sure it'll be fine", he says with more certainty than he has.

"Are you sure you don't want to try to eat something?", Carson asks, gesturing to the plate on the table. At Ryan's wrinkled nose he laughs and says, "Well, ok, but make sure you eat some lunch".

Luke enters the kitchen zipping up his own backpack. "You ready to go, dude? We've still gotta go by and pick up Cohen".

Ryan blows out a breath and nods, picking up his backpack and Carson gives him one more reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.

***************************************

"Luke!", a voice comes from behind, causing Luke to stop and Seth to put a hand on Ryan's arm halting his progress as well. They turn to see Summer Roberts approaching.

"Hey, Summer", Luke greets.

"What the fuck, Ward? I go away on a summer vacation and you acquire a new brother and a geek", she says looking at Ryan and Seth.

Not able to catch what Summer had said, Ryan looks at Seth and notes the down-turned expression. He turns back to Summer with a frown. He starts texting, "_That's Summer? As in Summer Breeze, love of your life, soul mate, Summer?" _He didn't see what she said but he didn't like the look it put on Seth's face.

Seth yelps and grabs at Ryan's phone attempting to clear the screen.

Summer's eyes narrow as she steps closer. "What are you saying?", she asks as she tries to see the phone.

"Nothing. He's not saying anything. Just asking where our first class is", Seth says innocently albeit rather unconvincingly.

Summer scowls and turns to Ryan, "That's very rude, you know. Texting about someone in front of their back."

Ryan raises his eyebrows and shrugs an "oh well".

Seth smacks him on the arm and says, "Good talkin' to ya, Summer, but we've really gotta go" as he drags Ryan off to class.

"Whatever", Summer says as she turns back to Luke. "So, spill. What's the scoop with the new brother. He's deaf, I know that much. And he works at The Crab Shack, right?"

"Well, sort of. My parents don't want him working their when school's in session so he had to quit until the summer".

Summer waits for more and then impatiently hits Luke in the chest. "That's it? Come on, why's he living with you? Everybody's talking about it."

Luke frowns. "What are they saying? What have you heard?"

"Daddy just told me that his "family situation" wasn't good and that your dad took him in", Summer replies. "I want details".

Luke shrugs it off. "That's about all there is to it. He needed a place to stay. His mom's a train wreck. We were friends already when things got....bad for him at home and we didn't see the sense in him going to a foster home or something."

"Word is that his brother's in jail for killing some dude", Summer states.

Luke laughs out loud and shakes his head amused. "Who told you that? He, like, stole a car".

"Oh. Well, I don't know. People say shit. It morphs into something else. It gets around. You know how it is", Summer says. "So, no deep dark secret. Just a kid down on his luck, huh? How boring.....what's with Cohen?"

"He's friends with Ryan......and he's not so bad. I mean, he's annoying as shit sometimes but he can be cool", Luke says.

"Ok. That's cool, I guess. Come on. We don't want to be late to class our first day", Summer says as she loops her arm in Luke's and they head off to class.

********************************************

Once Ryan makes it past the inevitable point at the beginning of each class where the teachers introduce him and inform everyone that he is hearing impaired the classes go relatively smoothly. Each class he has with Seth and Luke prompt the teachers to pull them aside and state that they are the only students in the class allowed to text on their cell phones and that they are being trusted not to abuse that privilege and are expected to only use them in relation to the class and not for personal enjoyment. They are also explicitly told that if any of them are caught using them to cheat it will result in immediate expulsion.

His entrance exam test scores allow him to take AP English, which focuses on critical thinking, reading and writing and not so much on the speaking aspect that the sophomore English classes require as part of their grade. A cute little blonde named Anna Stern is assigned to help him that hour. He likes her, although there is an awkward moment in the beginning where she starts signing to him and he has to wave her off and tell her that he never learned much sign language. She doesn't miss a beat and tells him that she could teach him if he wants. He says he'll think about it, texting that he's gone this long without learning it, so he doesn't know if he'll bother now. Although, it might be a good idea since he's been scheduled for a class specifically for deaf students to help them deal with the challenges they may face in college or the workplace, as well as to help them with any problems they may be encountering at Harbor. Not knowing sign language puts him at a disadvantage in communicating with many other deaf students and he often feels as out of place with them as he does with the hearing world. Maybe he should open himself up to as many forms of communication as possible.

The next hour is biology, in which an almost Seth-like girl named Taylor Townsend is assigned to help him. "Seth-like" meaning that she talks really fast and almost radiates with energy. She has a nice mouth, he notices. So much so that sometimes as she's talking to him he zones out just watching her lips. Then he looks up and she's apologizing thinking she's talking too fast again. He hopes she doesn't notice the blush that he feels rushing to his cheeks. She's also very touchy feely. He can't help the slight flinching every time she rests her hand on him. If she notices it she doesn't let it show. Maybe Harbor won't be so bad.

***************************************

"Carson!", Sandy's voice calls out.

He nods to the host who was preparing to seat him and then heads over to Sandy and Kirsten's table.

"Sandy. Kirsten."

"Join us", Sandy offers and Carson accepts. "How are you? How are the boys?"

Accepting a menu from the waiter, who has walked over upon seeing an addition to the Cohens' party, he answers, "I'm good. The boys are doing good".

"And Meredith?", Kirsten asks.

"Meredith is....Meredith. She has her life. I have mine. She's keeping busy", Carson replies with a shrug.

Kirsten nods and then asks, "How is Ryan doing? Seth says he's doing all right in school".

Carson smiles. "He seems to be adjusting well. I think the therapist is helping. He's made some new friends".

Sandy nods, "Ah, yes, the girls. We have heard much about the girls".

"He still has nightmares", Carson states, his face sobering. "Endlessly apologizing for waking us when Luke or I go in to check on him".

"Does he talk to you about it?", Sandy inquires, his heart going out to Ryan. He likes the kid with his dry wit and shy smiles. His friendship has opened up a whole new world for Seth.

Carson shakes his head. "I feel like he wants to sometimes but he just shakes his head and says he's ok. All I can do is tell Sharon, his therapist, and hope that she can get him to open up to her."

Kirsten places her hand on top of his and says, "He's lucky to have you, Carson. You're great with him. He trusts you."

Carson smiles his appreciation and then sighs. "I just wish Meredith would extend herself more. Ryan's so unsure of his place with her. She's been great about taking him in. Don't get me wrong. She includes him readily when she's making plans for the boys or shopping for them but....she's not....I don't know what I'm trying to say. I don't expect her to be his mother but if he can get over what happened to him enough to allow me to get close, I think if she put forth a little extra effort he'd benefit from having a woman's gentle touch. You know?"

"Give her time, Carson. I'm sure she's not quite sure of her place with Ryan, either. She's probably just wary of overstepping. Especially considering all he's been through", Kirsten offers.

They're interrupted briefly as the waiter comes and takes Carson's order and he returns to the conversation. "I'm sure you're right", Carson says with a tight smile as his thoughts drift. He and Meredith have been going through the motions for some time now and he's sought comfort and affection elsewhere. What was he thinking, taking Ryan in when his personal life is in a shambles beneath the surface? He has to end it. There's so much at stake. He needs to make his marriage work. Not only for his own boys' sake but for Ryan's now, as well. If anyone found out about his affair it would be a full on Newport scandal. If anyone found out who he was having an affair with it would decimate his family and where would that leave Ryan? The boy's been through enough. His placement with them depends on the environment they can provide for him. Meredith and the boys deserve better. Ryan deserves better. He has to end it, he tells himself again.

"Carson?", Sandy's concerned voice shakes him from his thoughts. "You ok?"

"What? Oh. Yeah, I'm fine, Sandy. I'm just worried about what happens when Ryan turns 18. He doesn't have anyone...", Carson covers.

"He has you and Meredith and the boys", Kirsten says.

"He has Seth, and us. We've got a couple of years to make sure he knows his place here. He'll be fine, Carson. We'll make sure of it", Sandy states confidently. If Seth isn't over at Carson's hanging out with the gang, they're all over at their house. He'd like to think that their home is like a second home to Ryan.

Carson takes in a breath and releases it. "You're right. It'll be fine", he nods in agreement. Mentally adding, "as soon as I end it with Michael".

Which is just what he does. He was worried about how Michael would react and also a bit concerned about where it would leave their business partnership but he takes it well. Michael avoids him after that, only discussing matters concerning the dealership, but it's for the best. He hates that he's hurt him but the affair was a mistake. One he can't make again. He'd made his choice when he married Meredith and he was choosing Meredith again. He loves her. He does.

****************************************

Things settles into a routine. Ryan goes to his therapist twice a week. Anna, Taylor and Summer all start hanging out with Ryan, Seth and Luke after school and on weekends. It starts as the girls, one by one, migrate to their lunch table. Seth and Anna hit it off talking about graphic novels and anime.

Luke and Summer are old friends, having known each other since grade school along with another girl named Marissa. Luke had been dating her and she had been Summer's best friend since kindergarten. Marissa OD'd at a party at the first big summer blowout. Summer and Luke had both been devastated and blamed themselves for not seeing how bad things had gotten with Marissa. Summer's dad took her away for the rest of the summer so he could spend some one on one time with his daughter. Marissa's death had shaken him out of complacency where Summer was concerned. Luke and Summer find an easy comfort with each other, able to remember happier times with Marissa, and are forging a new relationship without her.

Taylor is clearly crushing on Ryan. They can all see it but Ryan keeps holding back. Seth and Luke know the reason, obviously, but the girls don't understand. Anna and Summer each encourage Taylor to keep trying and give suggestions on how to get him to make a move. She is keenly aware of his infatuation with her mouth. So she strategically chooses foods she thinks will be sexy to eat. Juicy things that require frequent licking of her lips and slurpy noises. Ryan likes her, too, but the second he feels himself being drawn to her he pulls back and you can literally see him close himself off. This time he excuses himself altogether and walks away, leaving a disheartened Taylor wondering if she has been misreading him horribly. She thinks back to when they'd first met and the way he'd tense up when she touched him. At the time she thought maybe he just wasn't a touchy feely person but maybe there is something more.

*************************************

Carson grabs his jacket and leans in Michael's office door. "I'm heading out to lunch", he says. Michael glances up and nods and looks back down to the paperwork before him. Carson sighs and steps into the room. "Michael, I....."

Michael shakes his head. "Don't. You made your choice. I get it. I do.....but I just can't turn it off like you can." He looks up and sadly looks into Carson's eyes. "I....I don't think I can keep doing this. I want you to buy me out".

Carson's breath catches. He opens his mouth to speak but he doesn't know what to say. It wouldn't be fair of him to ask him to stay. He knows how difficult it's been for him. It's been difficult for him, too, seeing him day in and day out and pretending he doesn't long for him. He sighs and finally nods. "If that's what you need to do."

Michael looks at him in shock. Shock that turns to anger as he rises from his chair and rounds the desk. "That's it?! After everything we've been to each other you can just let me go? Just like that?!" His voice drops to a whisper, "I thought I meant something to you".

Carson's heart clenches at the pain in his eyes and he steps forward. "You do. God, Michael, you do but I'm married. I don't want to hurt you but I....I have my family to think about. This isn't easy for me, either, but I can't...." He's cut off as Michael grabs him and pushes him against the wall, pressing his lips against his. He tries to tell Michael to stop but his words are lost as the kiss deepens. He feels his resolve waiver and he's suddenly kissing back just as desperately as Michael is kissing him, hands in each others hair, biting and nipping and tongues swirling, bodies pressing close. They pull apart breathless and awareness of where they are hits them suddenly. They turn to see not only one of their salespeople and a couple of customers looking through the office windows but also the last person he'd ever wanted to see that. "Meredith....", he says aloud as he watches her quickly retreating back. He closes his eyes and allows his head to fall back against the wall. Oh, God, what has he done?

****************************************

Another school week over, Seth and Ryan tap fists and part ways. Seth is catching a ride with Anna today so they can check out the new releases at the comic shop and then he's spending the weekend with Caleb while the 'rents head off on a getaway that Seth refuses to call romantic because "romantic" means "sex" and he doesn't want to go there.

Luke and Ryan have to pick up Eric and Brad and then after dinner they're going to catch "Iron Man" on pay-per-view.

They enter the house to raised voices and Luke and the twins stop suddenly. Ryan turns a puzzled face to Luke and asks "what's wrong?" Luke just shakes his head and then says something to the twins and they hurry up the stairs. Ryan follows Luke into the kitchen and sees Carson and Meredith radiating with tension. Meredith's eyes are rimmed red and Carson's are full of regret. They turn to face him and Luke and Carson slowly approaches. He looks first to Ryan then to Luke. "We need to talk, Luke", he says and then turns a sad smile to Ryan. "Ryan, can you excuse us please?" Fear flashes across Ryan's face. Has he done something? "Hey, it's not you, ok", he says reassuringly, as if reading his mind. "It's....it's complicated and we really need to talk to Luke alone for right now. I'll be up to talk to you...after. All right?" He nods and glances from a clearly confused and wary Luke to Meredith, who now has her back to them all but Ryan can see the shuddering of her shoulders. He slowly exits the room, a knot twisting in his stomach.

Ryan doesn't hear the raised voices that follow. He doesn't hear the front door slam or the sound of Luke's truck peel out of the driveway. He doesn't hear Eric and Brad scream that they hate their dad from the stairway where they'd been eavesdropping and then lock themselves in their room. He doesn't hear Carson once again apologize to Meredith and try to explain that their marriage wasn't all a lie. He swears that he loves her and wouldn't have married her if he didn't. Meredith shakes her head, saying how he's humiliated her and wondering how she can ever show her face. She looks at him and gives a horrified whisper that people saw. Her tear stained face crumples and she tells him she'll never forgive him then leaves him standing alone in the middle of the kitchen.

Ryan sits in his room with one arm wrapped around his midsection as his fingers dig into his side, uncertainty and fear flowing through every inch of him. After what feels like an eternity his lights flicker and Carson tentatively enters and carefully tries to explain the situation in a mixture of spoken and written words. He watches as Ryan visibly withdraws into himself, nodding blankly, accepting his words without meeting his eyes. It's like a physical blow when he feels Ryan flinch under his touch when he tells him everything will be all right. He leaves Ryan as he found him and goes to call Sandy to see what they can expect from social services with the inevitable change in his marital status, as well as his sexual orientation. He gets the answering machine at the Cohen household and his call to Sandy's cell goes to voicemail and hangs his head dejectedly.

***********************************************

Sandy and Kirsten are on their weekend getaway in the mountains and he doesn't get the urgent message until Sunday evening when they're back in range and on their way home. Kirsten drives so Sandy can find out what's going on. "Jesus, Carson", Sandy says as he blows out a breath.

"I know, Sandy. I screwed up. Can we skip the verbal beat down and figure out what I can expect from social services?", Carson says resignedly as he pours himself a cup of coffee and settles at the kitchen table.

"All right. Where do things stand with Meredith? The kids?", Sandy asks.

Carson grimaces. "She wants a divorce. Sooner rather than later. She's talking about moving away and taking the twins and judging from their reaction I think they'd be more than happy to go. They leave the second I enter a room and Luke....he stormed out of the house and spent the rest of the day at Summer's. Didn't come home until late last night. I've barely seen him today. I don't know what he'll want to do."

Kirsten glances over as Sandy runs a hand down his face. "It's a lot to take in. Give Luke and the boys time to come to terms with it."

Carson scoffs. "I haven't even come to terms with being gay, Sandy. I was in denial about it most of my life. How can I expect my boys to understand...and Meredith...I haven't been fair to her at all. I allowed her to build her life upon a lie."

"Time and a little distance....maybe she'll be able to look back and see that you never meant to hurt her", Sandy suggests, shaking his head at Kirsten's curious looks. At Carson's nod, he inquires about how Ryan has reacted to the situation.

"Ryan.....God, Sandy. I'd made so much progress with him and it's like it was all wiped away. I haven't heard him say a word since I told him. He was just starting to trust in everything and I just.....I've destroyed everything. I've destroyed my family...."

"We already know he's been bounced around the system. He probably doesn't have much faith in permanency as it is and Carson.....we need to be sure he's still comfortable with you", Sandy states.

Carson hangs his head. Sandy's words forcing him to acknowledge the possibility he pushed to the back of his mind. "I...he just shut down on me when I was telling him what was going on. I wasn't sure if it was fear of his placement here being in jeopardy or....". He shakes his head. He didn't want to think that Ryan would be uncomfortable around him because he was gay. He certainly didn't want to think that Ryan might be afraid of him.

Shooting a look to Kirsten, Sandy says, "It's hard to say how people will react to finding out someone is gay under normal circumstances but he's a teenage boy that was violently assaulted by a man. He may not be emotionally stable enough to separate it, Carson. Try not to take it personally if he's not comfortable with it." Sandy braces himself on the dash as Kirsten nearly rearends the car in front of her at finally gaining some knowledge of what is going on. She sends a sheepish glance at him.

"I...I know you're right, Sandy. I hate the thought of him going into the system or to a group home...but maybe this isn't the best place for him. I don't want to cause him more harm if he doesn't feel safe here", he says quietly. He's been so preoccupied with trying to convince Meredith not to take the twins away and trying to salvage his relationship with Luke that he hadn't allowed himself to look deeper into all of the ways this could be affecting Ryan.

Hearing a myriad of emotions in Carson's voice, Sandy softens. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let me talk to him and see if he'll open up to me. Once we see where he stands then I'll talk to Marilyn and see......

Carson tenses at the mention of Marilyn, "Couldn't we keep it quiet a little while? I mean, if Ryan wants to stay? Let things settle down before..."

"No. We need to be up front. _If _Ryan is ok with staying with you and they find out about all of this before we tell them they may think you're still hiding something.....", Sandy starts to say but stops with a shake of the head. "Look, Carson, we need to take things one step at a time. First thing is first. I need to talk to Ryan. Marilyn worked with you to get Ryan in the first place but, even if he has an expressed wish to stay with you, she's not going to be happy with this turn of events. Either she's going to regret rushing the placement and pull Ryan right away or she's going to be willing to try to work this out to minimize the disruption to Ryan's life as much as possible, but you need to be honest with her. The divorce isn't a disqualifier in and of itself. Nor is the fact that you're gay. It's the atmosphere that it could create for Ryan. It's the dishonesty, Carson. The fact that you were having an affair when you chose to take Ryan in and the effect that's going to have on your family which, in turn, is going to have an effect on Ryan. The final decision won't rest with Marilyn but the social worker's recommendations hold a lot of weight and I think that if she senses that you're being truthful now...that you're being sincere then that might give you a chance."

If Ryan wants to stay, Carson adds in his head as he closes his eyes.

When Carson doesn't respond Sandy says, "One step at a time, Carson. I'll see you tomorrow after court, all right?"

"All right, Sandy....and thanks", Carson says tiredly and then disconnects the call.

Sandy hangs up and leans back in the car. Silently vowing to Ryan that no matter what happens he won't be alone. The poor kid needs someone looking out for him above all else. He likes Carson but Ryan is his main concern and what he needs has to take precedent.

"Sandy?", Kirsten's worried voice cuts through his thoughts as she reaches over and takes hold of his hand.

He takes a deep breath and fills her in on the details.

*****************************************

By the time Monday rolls around, everyone is eager for time away from the Ward household. Luke and Ryan begin to rethink that once they hit the school parking lot. They are the instant focus of everyone who notices them. Even Ryan can't escape the whispers and pointing. He catches the eye of several people hiding smiles and covering their mouths as they laugh and tell the version of the story they'd heard. Ranging anywhere from Carson actually being caught having sex with his business partner to his being caught having sex with the pool boy or the groundskeeper.

Seth, Anna and Taylor hook up with them, giving apologetic looks and striding alongside them for support. Anna and Taylor heard the news as the gossip quickly spread to their parents. They'd gotten the real deal from Summer. Seth didn't hear until he returned home Sunday night, after his parents got back from their trip. They'd all texted Ryan and Luke but the communication from both was short. They nearly make it through all of their classes, enduring the averted eyes and whispers when they enter the classrooms, when Chip steps in front of Luke blocking his path in the hallway, his sidekicks flanking him. Luke tells him to get out of his way but Chip just laughs and says, "What's the hurry, Ward? You know what I heard, guys?", he asks as he turns and addresses his friends as well as the gathered crowd. "I heard that dear old dad got caught with new brother here. Is that why your dad took him in? Huh, Luke? Cuz your mom couldn't get him off?"

Before anyone knows it Chip is on the ground and Luke's fist is slamming into his face again and again. One of Chip's friends pulls him off and the other helps to tackle him to the ground as Chip struggles to his feet and goes for Luke. Ryan jumps into the fray, not quite knowing what it is that Chip said to set Luke off but judging from the reception they've gotten all day long he's sure he knows the gist. He's wrestling Chip back to the ground, catching an elbow in the nose and the next thing he knows is he's being pulled off of him. He panics at the hands on him and starts struggling wildly until he notices Seth's face before him. He calms his breathing and the fight drains from him as he focuses on Seth mouthing to calm down. He closes his eyes and tries to slow the beating of his heart as he's released. He turns to see Dr. Kim, grim faced, talking to Luke, presumably asking what started all of this. She turns to him and asks if he's all right. Ryan nods and straightens his clothes. A hand appears before him, offering a handkerchief. He looks up to see one of the teachers, Mr. Anderson, gesturing to his face. He must've been the one pulling him off of Chip. He takes the offering and brings it to his nose, dabbing at the wetness he feels trickling from it. Dr. Kim orders them all to her office and shoos everyone else off to their next class.

**************************************************

Everyone involved in the fight is suspended for a week. Meredith is furious, while Carson is apologetic for being the reason for the fight. Luke doesn't tell them or Dr. Kim the exact words Chip had said, not wanting to repeat it in front of Ryan. He's sure Ryan was behind him and didn't see what was said and he doesn't feel Ryan needs to know what garbage Chip was spewing. Once home they're both told that they're being restricted to the house for the duration of the suspension.

Court runs late and it's evening before Sandy arrives. He's not pleased with the news about the fight. Impressing upon Carson the importance of Ryan and Luke staying out of trouble. He takes some time alone with Ryan to try to get a feel of how he's handling the changes going on but the boy isn't really letting anything go as he mentions the divorce and the possibility of Meredith moving away with Eric and Brad. So he decides to tackle the big question and asks if he's comfortable with the fact that Carson is gay and whether or not he wants to stay with Carson, needing to make sure of Ryan's wishes before they meet with Marilyn. He watches closely as Ryan shifts uncomfortably and chews his bottom lip before he makes eye contact. His heart aches at the turmoil within the deep blue eyes.

Ryan is unsure of what to make of what he's feeling. Carson being gay shouldn't matter but....it does. He can't help the feeling it's stirring up inside of him. He can't help the memories of a different man looking at him with lust in his eyes. Carson has never looked at him like Mickey did that night. He knows that what Mickey did is not something you can judge gay men for. A part of him knows that Carson would never hurt him like that but why is he suddenly scared? He's spent a lot of time around Luke's family. Even before he came to live with them. Carson and Meredith weren't overly affectionate with each other but he'd never once heard them fight until Friday. He's never once seen either one of them get angry with each other or with their kids and he's never seen any of them get hit but his marriage was a lie. What if the rest of it is, too? The guy has done more for him than anyone ever has in his life but what if there's a price. There's always a price. He chews his lip some more before breaking Sandy's steady gaze.

Confusion radiates from the boy. Sandy pulls his laptop out of his briefcase and rises. The movement causes Ryan to tense and look up. Sandy smiles reassuringly and gestures to the laptop and then to the bed and Ryan's brow creases warily as he nods and Sandy sits down beside him, noticing Ryan lean away slightly. He tries not to falter at the movement. Carson is right. It's like they're back at square one. He types out, "_I know this must be hard for you to make sense of, Ryan, but there's no right or wrong answer. You feel how you feel but I need to know what that is. I'm here for you. Not for Carson. I don't want you to think about seeming ungrateful or hurting his feelings. I don't want you to think about Luke or the rest of the family and what you think you should say. I want you to think about you and how you feel about staying in this house. Ok? Tell me what you're thinking kid."_

Ryan chews his thumbnail and shifts uncomfortably. When he makes no move to type out a reply Sandy decides to try a different tack.

"_Has Carson ever done anything to make you question why he took you in? Has he ever made you feel that it was more than just wanting to give you a safe place to live and a chance at a future?" _

A shake of the head.

"_Have they treated you well?"_

A nod yes.

_"Has Carson ever asked anything of you that was unreasonable or made you uncomfortable?"_

A shake no.

_"Do you think, with Meredith gone, that will change?"_

A slight hesitation, with a chew of his lip as he shakes his head no.

_"But you're not sure, are you?"_

No response.

_"He's been lying to his family. To himself. It's understandable for you to wonder what is real and what isn't."_

Ryan turns to look at Sandy, relieved that he seems to understand. He studies his face for a second until Sandy encouragingly turns the laptop to him. His hands hover over the keyboard as he gathers his courage. _"I know he's not like Mickey but I...._" He shifts and licks his lips and presses on. "_I don't think he would ever.....he's done so much for me.....I_", he stops and stares at the blinking cursor, not knowing how to put what he's feeling into words.

Sandy gently slides the laptop back to him. This is the first time he's seen Ryan mention Mickey and what happened to him. He needs to tread carefully. "_You're right. Carson isn't like Mickey. Mickey is a predator. What he did to you was about dominance. Control._" Ryan closes his eyes and wraps his arms around his midsection, visibly folding in on himself. Sandy stops typing and remains still, giving Ryan a chance to steady himself. He takes a couple of deep shaky breaths and opens his eyes. Sandy starts typing again. "_I'm sorry, Ryan. It's ok. You don't have to figure it out right this second but you need to think about what you're going to tell Marilyn. I'm going to call her as soon as we're done here and she's going to want to talk to you and to Carson but I'll see what I can do to put her off a few days_._ Give you a chance to think things through a bit more._" At Ryan's nod he adds, "_There's a chance that she may want to take you into the state's custody right away when she hears about the drastic changes going on here but if you decide you want to stay we might be able to convince her to hold off and give this a chance to work. It might help if you talked to your therapist. See if she can help you sort things out? Marilyn may want to talk to her as well. There are single foster parents and gay foster parents but she may be concerned about you being here in the midst of all of this, as well as your comfort level with Carson."_

Ryan sighs and then says, "So, what I want might not even matter." As unsure as he is about the changes going on here the thought of having to go to a group home or starting over with a new family that he doesn't know anything about fills him with dread. A dread much stronger than the uncertainty he's feeling about Carson. Maybe deep down he knows what he wants.

Sandy hides his relief at the sound of Ryan's voice. "_If you decide that you want to stay with Carson, no. It might not. The system has its faults but they do what they think is right and the affair does not reflect well on Carson. Then there's this fight you and Luke were involved in today. They're going to take everything into account and they may not feel this is the best place for you despite what you tell them you want", _Sandy states, deciding honesty is the best policy right now.

The lights flicker. Sandy turns toward the door and when no one enters Ryan says, "doorbell".

"Ah, Carson's really got you all set here, doesn't he?", he says aloud then typing, _"door bell, cell phones, fire alarm...."_

Ryan smiles. "Yeah. He's been great about everything". He thinks back on all the ways Carson has made him feel welcome. The changes to the house. Paying for his schooling. The careful way he approaches him and checks on him every night. He shakes his head and makes a decision but before he can voice it his lights flicker again and Carson enters grim faced.

"Marilyn is here", he states.

Sandy sucks in a breath. Damn. Her showing up before they've had a chance to reach out to her is not good. He turns to Ryan and sees fear in his eyes. "Wait here", he says. Ryan nods and they leave the room.

Marilyn is not alone. A police officer is with her. Sandy frowns.

"Marilyn? What is this about?", Sandy asks.

"You know what this is about Mr. Cohen", Marilyn states shortly. "I need Ryan to come with me".

"Whoa. Wait a minute. Can't we talk about this? I know the situation is alarming but the divorce and Mr. Ward's being gay are not dis-qualifiers of being a foster parent. It is unfortunate that all of this wasn't known before Ryan was placed here but...."

"No. The divorce and his sexual orientation are not problems in and of themselves. That's not exactly why I'm here. Allegations have been made. Disturbing allegations that I have no choice but to investigate. Ryan must come with me. Now."

Carson speaks up at this. "What are you talking about ? What allegations?"

Marilyn looks from Carson to Sandy. "Why are you here, Mr. Cohen?", she asks, wondering just who the lawyer is there for.

"Carson called me when his wife found out about his affair and informed him that she wanted a divorce. He was concerned about how this all would affect Ryan's placement here. I'm here for Ryan. To see what he wants and to represent his best interests. Now, if you'd be so kind as to answer Carson's question and tell us what allegations you're talking about", Sandy demands.

"We have received a couple of phone calls from concerned parents. Parents claiming that Mr. Ward has been having sexual relations with his foster son", Marilyn states plainly, meeting Carson's eyes. Chips words had drifted through the school and teachers and eventually parents were made aware of what had been said, resulting to a few adults reporting their concerns for the poor boy.

Carson is aghast. "Wh...what? I would never...."

"That's bullshit!", Luke's voice rings out as he enters the room.

Marilyn takes in his battered knuckles and split lip. "So that wasn't the reason you were fighting this afternoon?" She had also received a call from Dr. Kim informing her of the suspension. She had been planning a surprise visit as a result of that but the other calls that followed throughout the day increased the urgency.

"No! Well, not exactly. That was just Chip shooting his mouth off", Luke says hotly. "We'd been listening to that ridiculous shit all day".

"And you didn't believe there could be any truth to it? Your mother hadn't caught your father having sex with Ryan?", Marilyn presses.

Luke's stomach constricts. "No. My mom caught him _kissing _his business partner. It had nothing to do with Ryan. Jesus. Kids talk. Some of them are saying Ryan's brother is in jail for murder for Christ's sake and you know that's not true. Chip was full of shit. Just trying to stir me up".

"You don't think your mother could have been lying? To protect you from knowing the truth?", Marilyn suggests.

Meredith enters the house, confusion reflecting on her face. "Lying about what? Protect Luke from what? What's going on here?"

"Mrs. Ward, could I speak to you privately?", Marilyn asks as she places her hand on Meredith's shoulder and starts to lead her out of the room.

Meredith pulls away and says, "No. Whatever it is can be said here. Everyone here knows what's going on. Now what is this about? Why is there a police officer in my home?"

"There have been some accusations of....improper behavior on the part of your husband toward your foster son", Marilyn carefully words.

Meredith's hand flies to her mouth as she gasps. She turns disgusted eyes to Carson.

Carson is taken aback at what he's seeing on her face, "Meredith...you know I would never...."

"I don't know anything about you anymore", she snaps. "Four days ago I never would have thought I'd catch you with a man".

Marilyn watches the exchange. "Mrs. Ward? So you're saying that you _didn't_ catch Mr. Ward with Ryan?"

Meredith turns to her. "No, of course not!". She closes her eyes briefly and then says, "I walked in on my husband kissing Mi...his business partner. At the dealership." Fresh humiliation creeping into her face.

"Mrs. Ward, I need you to be honest with me. Is there any chance that there could be some truth to the allegations? Have you ever witnessed your husband behaving in a way that could be construed as inappropriate with Ryan?"

Meredith opens her mouth but closes it again. She looks at Carson. "No. I can't say that I have seen anything like that but I....."

Carson steps forward, "Meredith, please. You know me. You know I wouldn't...."

"Don't", she says sharply as she steps back from him. "I....I don't know you. I don't know if I ever did", she says as tears well up and she rushes from the room.

The room is silent until Marilyn asks Luke the same question.

Luke indignantly answers, "Hell no. I've never seen anything because my dad wouldn't do anything like that. My mom is a little freaked right now. She isn't thinking clearly. Once she is she'll know that my dad would never do that to Ryan or to anyone. Especially Ryan. Not after we found him after that sick creep......", he trails off before starting again. "You were there at the hospital. You saw my dad. Do you really think he'd do something like that?"

"This isn't about what I think", she sighs as she takes in the faces before her. "Allegations have been made. If there's even the slightest possibility that this is true, I have no choice but to remove Ryan from the home while we investigate and reevaluate his placement here. I'm sorry."

"Sandy?", Carson says pleadingly.

Knowing there's nothing he can do to stop this, he says, "I'm sorry, Carson. It's out of my hands. I can appeal to a judge on Ryan's behalf but until then, he's a ward of the state. The decision is in their hands".

"Now, if you'll tell me where Ryan is", Marilyn asks.

"I'll go get him", Carson says.

The officer steps forward. "I'm sorry, sir, but that won't be possible. You're going to need to stay here. I can't allow you near the boy."

"Why don't I go?", Sandy steps in.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cohen. I understand that you're his legal representation but you have no authority here. I can't allow you to speak to him before I can question him."

Sandy's heart sinks. She's right. If Ryan was under arrest he could invoke attorney client privilege but Ryan has not done anything wrong. "I just....he needs to be dealt with carefully. These allegations are going to upset him", Sandy tries.

"I'll explain it to him. I need to question him and I can't allow you to sway his answers", Marilyn states. "Now, is he in his room?" At Carson's dejected nod she climbs the stairs.

A few moments later, she returns with Ryan, backpack in hand. His face is blank and he won't meet anyone's eyes.

Luke steps forward. "Hey, man", he says as he puts his hand on his arm. Ryan looks up at him and Luke is at a loss for words at the empty orbs that greet him. Ryan turns away before he can gather himself and Marilyn leads him out the door. The officer prevents any of them from following.

Luke turns to his dad. "I hope it was worth it, dad", he says angrily before storming away.

Carson feels sick as he lowers himself to the couch.

Sandy blows out a breath. Ryan's face etched into him mind. He has to fix this. Somehow. But even if Carson is cleared, he doesn't think Ryan will ever be allowed back into this house.

to be continued......

***********************************

**A/N: Ok, so I don't know how Sandy's lawyer status would work here, or how social services would really handle such a situation and as you all well know, or should by now, I'm a lazy researcher. lol. So, that's just the way it works in my little AU world. **

**Sorry for the delay. I had a little trouble with the last half. When I had time to write I'd open up the page and just stare at it with nothing forthcoming. Then when I had some ideas I had family holiday stuff going on and couldn't find the time. But, I finally got it out. Not quite sure how I like it but there it is. Upon reread it's a little rushed but oh well. lol. **

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	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Finally. An update for this one. This one gave me fits but here it is. I would have had this updated a couple of days ago, as I promised a few people, but it would only have been half as long and I decided that I really needed to get some Ryan in here after such a long wait. Anyway, The cases I mention within this story are true. I came across articles about current lawsuits in California and then some cases in other states and I decided to use them to explain why they're taking the allegations so seriously. Don't know how realistic it is since in most of the cases I came across that dealt with sexual abuse allegations against foster parents, the accusations were made by the foster children themselves. So I don't really know how they'd approach/deal with allegations made by outside sources, with no eyewitness reports or whatever but, eh, I felt like torturing Ryan some more. Poor guy. He really would need to be in a straightjacket with all of the trauma I keep heaping on him. lol. I'm just pulling a lot of this out of my ass so you'll just have to go with it even if it doesn't quite track. lol.**

**Mistakes? All mine. Every last one of them.**

**************************************

Chapter Four

Luke sits in his room trying to quell the churning in his stomach. They were all questioned by a department investigator that arrived shortly after Mrs. Stark had left with Ryan, and asked repeatedly to search their minds for any instances where Carson's actions concerning Ryan could be misconstrued. They were also asked if Carson had ever acted inappropriately with any other minors, including his own children. Meredith was aghast at the suggestion. As angry as she was at him she knew he wasn't a pervert. She felt bad for her earlier reaction but still couldn't bring herself to say without a doubt that something couldn't have happened beyond her knowledge. The way the investigator phrased the questions had her second guessing Carson. She knew he'd never touch _their_ children but Ryan wasn't theirs. He was an attractive teenage boy, as the investigator pointed out, but he was still a boy. She wanted to believe he'd never do such a thing but she didn't know what to think anymore. His affair with Michael had thoroughly thrown her off kilter.

Luke, Eric and Brad say that they've never seen anything inappropriate and vehemently deny that Carson had ever touched any of them either when the question is posed to them. Luke had nearly decked the guy for asking such a sick question and again tries to explain that it was just stupid rumors and gossip that set this whole thing in motion.

When the questioning is finally over they all retreat to their respective corners of the house. Each one reeling from the whole ordeal. Carson bearing the brunt of the anger and injustice of the situation. He takes it without protest, knowing that none of them would be going through any of this if he'd just been stronger and able to play the part of husband and father and not given in to his needs and wants with Michael.

The ringing of his cell phone breaks the silence in Luke's room. "Hello?", he says not looking at the display.

"Ward? What the hell is going on? Ryan's been here in the ER for hours and you're still not here. What happened? Why......", comes a barrage of questions from Summer.

"Wait....What?!", Luke says sitting up in alarm. "You're at the hospital? And Ryan's there?"

"Yeah, I'm candy-striping tonight and I saw him in the ER when I was bringing a wheelchair down for someone. I asked why he was here but they wouldn't tell me anything and I couldn't find any of you anywhere. I finally called my dad and had him see if he could find out anything. You didn't know?", Summer asks.

Luke sighs as he cradles the phone between his head and neck so he can put on his shoes. "Everything's all fucked up. I tried to call you. That bitch from social services came and took him away because of that shit Chip was saying at school today.....was he hurt? What was your dad able to find out?"

"No, he didn't look hurt but he's, like, strapped in and they....my dad said they were holding him for a 5585. That's a psyche evaluation", she whispered. "I can't go back there....I didn't see that you'd called. I can't have my phone on while I'm working."

"Fuck. I'm on my way. I'm going to call Mr. Cohen. This is so fucked."

************************************

Sandy's mind is reeling, wondering what could have happened in the short amount of time that he'd last seen Ryan. He had also answered a few questions and offered to stay while the rest of them were interviewed but Carson insisted that he go on home and see what he could do for Ryan. Sandy didn't argue. The defeated posture and desolation in Ryan's eyes had cut him to the quick. The poor kid had been through too much already and he didn't know how much more he could take.

Kirsten and Seth are silent for the duration of the ride aside from the nervous tapping Seth is doing on the seat. They insisted on coming once they learned that Ryan was in the hospital. Seth completely flipped out when he learned what happened but what surprised Sandy the most was how upset and worried Kirsten appears to be. He knew she liked the kid but he hadn't realized how much she's grown to care about him in the short time they've all known him.

************************

"Mrs. Stark?", Sandy says as he walks purposefully toward her. He left the others in the waiting area, having been prevented from going any further. Sandy managed to wield his lawyer status as a means of getting past.

Marilyn frowns. "Mr. Cohen. What are you doing here?"

"More importantly, what is Ryan doing here? Awaiting a psychiatric evaluation no less. That's what I'd like to know", Sandy asks pointedly.

"Mr. Cohen, I am under no obligation to relay any information to you. Ryan is a ward of the state of California. He is here for his own best interest. Now...."

"I am Ryan's lawyer. So why don't you tell me just how this is serving his best interests?", Sandy asks.

"As I understood it, you were representing Ryan in helping to facilitate his placement with the Wards and that your services were concluded once that occurred. That placement failed", Marilyn attempts.

"I will represent Ryan in any capacity he needs. His placement with the Wards has not failed. Or has Mr. Ward been found guilty before the investigation is even complete?"

Marilyn sighs and says, "Mr. Cohen, regardless of the outcome of the investigation Ryan will not be returning to the Ward household any time soon. That family is falling apart and the home is clearly an unstable environment. We do not feel that he should be in the middle of such turmoil. Their oldest son dragged him into a fight. He is the center of gossip and the pending divorce is already creating a negative atmosphere within the household."

"Marilyn, please. I need to see him. I shouldn't have let you take him without talking to him and preparing him for what was going on. Hasn't the kid been through enough?", Sandy pleads. "I don't want this to get ugly but I will file every motion I can think of. The state will have so many lawsuits......"

This sparks a reaction from Marilyn and she deflates. She takes a breath and says, "Mr. Cohen, I'm not doing this to hurt Ryan. I'm not trying to.......there are already lawsuits against the department. Which is why this is being taken so seriously. The whole system is under close scrutiny. I already skirted the rules in Ryan's case and look where that's gotten me. Perhaps it is all idle gossip but I can't just dismiss......"

Sandy holds up a hand, "Marilyn...I get it. I do. I'm not asking you to not do your job. I know it has to be looked into and I know you feel like things have blown up in your face. I'm sure you are under a lot of pressure but it's not fair for Ryan to be caught in the middle. What is he doing here? What happened?"

Marilyn sighs in defeat and motions for Sandy to sit. The lawsuits filed locally, along with some high profile national cases have the department skittish across the board. The lawsuits claim that social workers are deliberately keeping children in foster homes for personal gain despite their best interests. Some are even accused of manipulating children into confirming allegations they know to be false in order to keep them in the system and extorting money from the biological parents to have them returned. That particular lawsuit doesn't have any bearing on Ryan's situation but other recent cases in the national spotlight in which children were found to have been left in abusive foster homes, despite repeated calls from neighbors reporting suspected physical or sexual abuse, has the department on edge. One of the cases gaining public attention is a boy that was allegedly being sexually abused by a gay couple. Once the boy had aged out of foster care he brought a lawsuit against the state in which it occurred. Another resulted in the death of a child, again after several reports from neighbors and family were repeatedly ignored, and both had a ripple effect all the way down to schools and teachers being held responsible for not reporting suspicious injuries and behavior of the children in question. The intense scrutiny and fear of being charged with wrongdoing and being sued is most likely the cause for a couple of calls from teachers at Harbor, on top of the calls from concerned parents of students once the rumors started floating through the community. Hence the swift response by the California Department of Children and Family Services, unwilling to chance a child in their jurisdiction having the same fate befall them as did the children in these other cases, as well as opening themselves to further lawsuits.

Unfortunately, with Ryan and many other kids in foster care, the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction and kids are being removed from decent homes in an overzealous attempt to prove they are doing their jobs.

After being removed from the Wards home, Ryan was more or less interrogated in an effort to get him to confirm wrongdoing by Carson. Marilyn hadn't handled that part but she was present and she had tried to be supportive of Ryan and deter the department investigator from taking such an aggressive tack but was largely unsuccessful. Ryan insisted that Carson never touched him but no one seemed to like that answer. He reacted badly to the aggressive questioning and became very uncomfortable and agitated the more they pushed and he stood and tried to leave the room. He was physically blocked from exiting and lashed out. Security was called when they couldn't seem to calm him and get him to retake his seat. Marilyn stepped into his line of sight and forced him to focus on her and had started to calm him but once the security guards entered the room he again tried to retreat. Against her protests, Ryan was physically restrained which sent things spiralling further out of control. At the hands on him, Ryan went into a full on panic. Struggling desperately to get free he flashed back to his assault. His strangled voice called out for them to stop. He begged them to please let him go. 911 is dialed and police and medical personnel appeared and there was a prick on his arm causing the fight to finally drain from him.

Marilyn gives Sandy a condensed accounting, keeping in mind that she is speaking to a lawyer. "Ryan didn't react well to the interview. He panicked and tried to leave. When he was stopped he reacted physically and had to be restrained. He was sedated and transported here. Once he awakens, they'll assess his mental state."

Sandy scoffs, "His mental state....what would your mental state be if you'd been put through half of what this kid has been through?"

"Look, Mr. Cohen, everyone here has a job to do and believe it or not we are all trying to do what's best for Ryan", Marilyn says tiredly. "No signs of physical or sexual abuse were found and once he comes out of sedation he'll have a psyche evaluation. I already have a placement lined up and as soon as ......"

Sandy's brow furrows. "Wait. No signs of abuse? What does that mean? What...."

Marilyn inwardly cringes. She hadn't meant to let that slip. She sighs and explains. "My superiors were alarmed by his violent reaction. They instructed me to have him examined for any physical signs of abuse, sexual or otherwise, once he was brought in...", she pauses, holding up a hand to stop the words she can see forming on Sandy's lips. "I reminded them of the assault Ryan had suffered while in the care of his mother but they insisted, threatening to pull me off of the case if I didn't comply. It was going to happen, Mr. Cohen. I figured at least this way I could have it done while he was under sedation. He was completely unaware. That's the best I could do."

Sandy studies her a moment and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Stark. I know you're in a tough position. It's just....How much is this kid supposed to take?" He shakes his head and looks down the hall. "I want to see him."

"He's still under sedation. He won't know you're there", Marilyn starts. She stops when she sees Sandy's determined look and decides not to stand in his way. "Follow me. He's..restrained. They won't take them off until they determine he's not...dangerous. I know, Mr. Cohen. Don't say it. As I told you, he was combative. He struck my colleague and fought the officers and paramedics on scene. It's on his chart. He awoke from the original sedative and was, again, very combative and they had to sedate him further. Once he's awake and they see that he's calm they'll take them off."

Sandy shakes his head. "He won't be calm if he wakes up in restraints. That's probably why he was 'combative' when he woke up in the first place!", he says, voice raised. He closes his eyes and takes a calming breath, momentarily worried that he might have some fallout to deal with from the incident but then noting that Marilyn stated that she has a placement lined up, so it doesn't appear that anyone plans to try to haul the kid off to jail for assault or resisting the police officers. "Never mind. Just take me to him."

Marilyn leads him into the room and hangs back, allowing Sandy to approach the bed alone.

He steps alongside the bed and looks down, taken aback out how young and vulnerable Ryan looks. He reaches out and brushes the hair back as he gently lays his hand on his forehead. "Aw, kid", he whispers. "I'm going to get you out of here", he promises the unconscious boy.

**************************************

Assured that Ryan will remain asleep for while yet to come, Sandy returns to the waiting room.

"Dad?"..."Mr. Cohen?..."Sandy?"...voices ring out all at once as he enters. Sandy fills them in on what he knows. At the mention of Marilyn having found a placement for Ryan, Kirsten objects.

"No, Sandy. We can't let that happen. After everything he's been through he is not going to live with a bunch of strangers. I won't allow it", Kirsten states strongly.

"Kirsten, I agree with you but there may not be anything we can do about it right now. Marilyn didn't follow protocol with Carson. There's no way they're going to allow us to take him without following proper procedure. There are training classes and interviews and....", Sandy tries to explain.

"I don't care. There has to be some way, Sandy", she says with a frown, then grabs her phone from her purse.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm calling my father. He can pull some strings. He can threaten. He can blackmail. I don't care how he does it but Ryan is coming home with us when he leaves here", she says.

Sandy can't keep the smile from his face as he watches her face crinkle in determination. "Honey. I love that you want to bring him home but we can't do anything that might lead to him being taken from us down the road. Ryan's been jerked around enough. We need to do this right."

Kirsten closes her phone and clutches it tightly before turning pleading eyes to Sandy. "We can do both, can't we? I can have dad put some pressure on some people and we can agree to whatever process we need to do but can't we convince them to allow him to stay with us in the meantime. They can come every day if they need to, to make sure we're following through. I can get dad started on fitting the house with everything Ryan will need." She pauses as something passes across Sandy's face. "What?...What is it, Sandy?"

"I'm just worried. Ryan's been through so much and this...", he waves a hand to the surroundings. "We don't know what state of mind he's going to be when he awakens. It doesn't sound like he was too coherent when he first awoke. They had to sedate him again."

Seth steps up at that. "Of course he wasn't coherent! They had him drugged! What the hell do they expect?!", he exclaims incredulously. "Anyone would have reacted the same way with all the shit that's happened to him."

Sandy turns to Seth, seeing Luke's and Summer's equally angry and concerned faces. "Look, everyone. I just want you to be prepared if they do decide to keep him, for whatever reason. Right now, though, I want to get back to him. I don't want him to wake up with only Marilyn there. Maybe if he sees a friendly face he won't get quite so worked up when he wakes up again. I'll work on her while I'm back there, too."

Kirsten nods as the kids grumble at wanting to see Ryan. "Why don't the rest of you go on home. You're not going to be able to see him anyway. Your father and I will be here for him and we'll let you know as soon as we know something. Seth?....Call your grandfather and fill him in. See if he can start making arrangements for the changes we need to make to the house right away." She turns to Luke and asks, "Luke? Do you think you can go with him and help us figure out exactly what we need to do and maybe call your dad to see who he had do the work?"

Luke nods slowly. "Uh, sure, Mrs. Cohen", he says with a frown as he turns to Sandy. "This will just be temporary, right? If he can stay with you guys instead of a foster home, I mean. Just until they figure out that this is all bullshit, right? Ryan can come back and live with me and my dad when things settle down, can't he?" Luke was still pissed off at his dad but he knew he didn't want to leave Newport with his mom and the twins. His mom is talking about moving to Portland to be near her sister. He'll miss them but he has always been much closer with his dad, despite the recent revelations.

Sandy looks to him and takes in his hopeful expression. "It might be a little bit of a fight but he probably could....eventually. Carson could request a fair hearing once he's cleared...but...", he stops and sighs. "....if we do this I want it to be permanent", he says with a glance to Kirsten. At her soft smile and nod of consent, he continues. "I know you care about him, Luke, and I know your dad cares about him but my concern is Ryan. He's been bounced around enough. If he could go right back to you and Carson it would be different but that just doesn't look possible. It would take time and I don't think it would be fair for him to have to adjust to yet another home and then have to move again."

"Besides, dude, we're always hanging out together. Whether it's your house or ours. It'll just be reversed now. With him crashing at casa Cohen", Seth offers reassuringly.

Summer hooks her arm around Luke's and says, "yeah. You'll see him all the time, Ward. Now come on. We need to call Anna and tell her what's happening."

Luke stands motionless for a moment before slowly nodding in acceptance and allowing himself to be led away. His anger at his father renewing. Luke loves his brothers but they're a pain in the ass. Spoiled rotten and always stirring up shit. Ryan is cool. He's his age and he enjoys spending time with him. He can just be himself. Unlike when he was with his friends...the people he thought were his friends before his dad's affair came out, that is, with whom he always felt he had to put on a show. He always had to be "on". He had to be King Jock and, seeing Chip now leading the pack he realized he was also King Asshole because he was just like Chip. He may not be popular anymore but he likes who he is now and that is in large part due to Ryan. He knows Summer and Seth are right. They'll still spend a lot of time together if Ryan is allowed to live with the Cohens but it won't be the same and he doesn't know if he'll ever be able to forgive his dad for that.

Sandy watches them go, feeling bad for Luke but he'll get over it. Ryan is his concern. He turns to Kirsten and asks, "Are you sure about this?"

She smiles warmly and embraces him. "Yes", is all she says and he squeezes her tight.

*****************************************

Sandy speaks with the doctor who pulled Ryan's case and convinces him to allow him to sit with Ryan after explaining his situation in more detail. Conveying that Ryan doesn't know sign language and was probably quite disoriented and scared when he first awoke in the ER. He assures him that Ryan is not a threat to himself or to anyone but might need a familiar face to help ground him.

It's hours before Ryan stirs. Sandy hears a moan and hurries to the bedside so that Ryan will see a familiar face when he opens his eyes. Ryan's eyelids flutter and squint at the bright light of the room. Confused eyes finally adjust and focus on Sandy's face.

"Hey", he says softly.

Ryan blinks, then takes in his surroundings. He sucks in a breath and his eyes widen as he realizes where he is. He tries to move but his hands are held in place. His breathing quickens and he struggles harder.

Sandy places a hand on his shoulder trying to calm him but it panics him further. He pulls at the restraints frantically and yells out, "No!". Sandy reaches out and places his hand on Ryan's left cheek and Ryan instantly stills and presses himself into the bed, eyes clenched shut. Sandy can feel the tremors coursing through his body. He gently but firmly guides Ryan's face in his direction and gives his shoulder a gentle squeeze, patiently waiting for Ryan to open his eyes. Ryan is still breathing quickly but he slowly opens his eyes and looks at his face. He smiles and says, "You're ok. Everything is ok." He holds on for a beat to make sure Ryan is with him and then pulls back.

Ryan swallows and nods and works to get himself under control. His eyes fall on the restraints and he looks back up at Sandy.

"Do you remember what happened?", Sandy asks slowly to make sure Ryan can read his lips, knowing things might still be a bit foggy. He watches as Ryan tries to sort things out in his mind and once Ryan indicates that he does remember, he says,"they had to restrain you to keep you from fighting them...". He stops as he sees Ryan close his eyes tightly. "Hey", Sandy says, tapping his hand to get his focus. He pulls out his cell phone and texts the rest, then holds the phone so Ryan can read it. _It's just temporary. Just until they can see you aren't a threat to the staff or to yourself. It's standard procedure. Just a precaution. All right?_

Ryan sags back into the bed and closes his eyes again. Shit. He punched that DCFS guy.

Sandy texts and gently taps Ryan's hand. There's a slight flinch as he opens his eyes. Sandy shows him the screen . _Mrs. Stark says that she has a placement for you but I want to try to work it out so that you can come stay with me and Kirsten. Would you like that, Ryan?_

Ryan turns puzzled eyes to Sandy. There's a flutter of hope in his stomach but he pushes it down. Things don't ever work out the way he wants. This mess with the Wards is testament to that. He thought, for once, things might actually work out with them but as usual it all disappeared. They won't let him stay with the Cohens and even if they do it won't last. It never does. So he drops his eyes and shrugs.

Sandy frowns and taps his hand. When Ryan looks up he starts to ask what's wrong but there's movement behind him and he turns to see the doctor, who, unbeknown to Ryan and Sandy, has been watching the interaction. He heard Ryan struggling and came in ready to sedate him again if necessary. He was there when Ryan first awoke and they all tried to get Ryan to calm down but, seeing Sandy handle the situation so calmly, he realizes how scary it must have been for Ryan having so many strange faces and hands pawing at him, unable to hear the words they were all saying to try to soothe him. Especially considering his history, which he has only now had a chance to fully understand from his earlier talk with Mr. Cohen.

He clears his throat and then holds up a finger and excuses himself and abruptly turns and leaves the room, leaving a puzzled Sandy and Ryan. Sandy looks back at Ryan with raised eyebrows. Ryan shrugs his shoulders. Doctors are weird. A few moments later the doctor returns offering apologies and holds up a laptop that he borrowed from one of the nurses to help him communicate with Ryan. He walks up to shake Sandy's hand and then faces Ryan and says "hello", before setting the laptop on the bedside tray. He turns it on and waits for the wi-fi to connect, then he opens an IM screen and slides it up to Ryan. He takes a seat near the bed and starts typing into his blackberry, sending an IM to the open window. _I'm Dr. Mark Ellison. You can call me Mark, Doctor, Dr. Ellison....whichever you prefer. _He meets Ryan's eyes with a smile. At Ryan's nod he begins typing again. _Do you mind if we talk for a bit now?_ He notices Ryan's eyes shoot to Sandy. _Would you like your lawyer to stay?_

Ryan frowns. Is Sandy still his lawyer? Is that why he's here? Is he in trouble for punching that guy and fighting the cops?

Sandy smiles at him and gestures to the keyboard. With a nod of approval from Dr. Ellison, he tells Ryan, _I'm your lawyer as long as you need me to be. Ok, kid? I want to make sure your needs are being met and that you're not getting lost in the shuffle._

Ryan searches his face, trying to figure out his angle. He said he wants him to live with them but now it sounds like he's just doing his duty as a lawyer. Most lawyers probably wouldn't want to take him home but Sandy's not most lawyers. He stepped up for him and helped get Mrs. Stark to let him stay with the Wards. Now he says he wants him to stay with his family. Is it for Seth? And for how long, he wonders. It can't be just until they find someplace else for him because he said Mrs. Stark had already found a placement.

He starts as Dr. Ellison taps his hand. His face flushes in embarrassment at having apparently zoned out. He ducks his head a little and then meets the doctor's concerned gaze and reads his lips for the apology for startling him. The doctor then removes the restraints from Ryan's wrists and begins asking questions.

_Do you know why you're here, Ryan?_

He nods.

_Can you tell me?_

Ryan shifts uncomfortably and then types out, _I freaked out._

Dr. Ellison smiles softly and asks, "Can you tell me why?"

Ryan chews his lip and frowns. _They kept asking me the same questions. They weren't listening to me and it pissed me off. _

Dr. Ellison asks him what it was he felt they weren't hearing.

_That Mr. Ward never touched me. I'd answer their questions and they'd reword it but ask the same thing over and over again. They wouldn't believe me. He didn't touch me. _He looks at the doctor and then to Sandy and says aloud, "He didn't. I swear."

Dr. Ellison watches as Sandy gently rests his hand on Ryan's shoulder and gives it a reassuring squeeze. He asks another question. _All right, Ryan. What happened next? _

Ryan sighs. _I had enough. I wanted to leave. I didn't do anything wrong. So I told them I was done. I tried to leave the room. I don't know where I was going to go but I just wanted out and.....I guess I kind of panicked when they tried to stop me. They started coming at me and I....just wanted to get away. _He again looks from Sandy to Dr. Ellison. _I didn't hurt anyone bad, did I? I didn't mean to....._

Sandy doesn't know the answer to that so he looks to Dr. Ellison.

_Basically a bloody nose and a split lip. A little ice and antiseptic and a butterfly bandage and they were good to go. _He gives Ryan a moment to digest this before asking, _can you tell me what was going through your mind when that was happening?_ Ryan looks to Sandy and he gives a nod of encouragement. Again, Dr. Ellison takes note of the interaction.

_The basement. Mickey, _is all Ryan types.

Sandy closes his eyes as he shifts his hand, which has been resting on Ryan's shoulder this whole time, and starts rubbing circles on his back in an effort to comfort.

_Mickey. That's the man who assaulted you a few months ago? _

Ryan nods but doesn't meet his eyes. _All of those hands on me. I just wanted to get out. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I swear. I just wanted to get out. _His breathing picks up and he looks to Sandy. "Am I in trouble? Are they going to arrest me?", he asks fearfully.

Dr. Ellison taps the bed to get Ryan's attention and IMs, _No, Ryan. No charges will be filed. Mrs. Stark explained things and the officer agreed to let it drop. Mr. Collins, the gentleman you punched? He obviously knows your situation and also isn't bringing charges. _

Ryan sags in relief but then frowns and Sandy gives a squeeze of his shoulder and Ryan looks up at him.

"What is it, kid?"

He chews his lip and then types, _Will you tell them I'm sorry? And that I appreciate them not throwing me in jail?. _

He looks at Sandy with such open and earnest eyes that he momentarily gets lost in the blue orbs. His hand unconsciously drifts from his shoulder to gently brush along the back of Ryan's head. Admiration for this boy growing by the second.

Ryan's eyes widen slightly at the touch, given with a gentleness he doesn't think he's ever felt before, and studies Sandy's face and sees pure affection and he doesn't quite know what to do with that. He knows Carson cares for him and he often saw the concern and affection for him on his face but nothing quite like this.

Sandy gives a soft smile and answers, "I'll tell them, kid." The moment lingers a moment before Ryan nods in appreciation.

Dr. Ellison watches the exchange in fascination before tapping Ryan's hand to get his attention. Ryan startles at the touch and his head whips around.

"Sorry", he says with a smile. "I think that's enough for now, Ryan. I'll talk a little more with you later."

Ryan blinks and when his mind catches up he sighs in relief as Dr. Ellison saves the IM session for his report and gathers his things.

He indicates that he'd like to speak with Mr. Cohen outside and Sandy lets Ryan know that he'll be back.

Once outside, Dr. Ellison informs Sandy that DCFS had requested that Ryan be put on a 72 hour hold when he was brought in but he had refused, only agreeing to an 8 hour hold until the sedation could wear off and he could have an actual conversation with Ryan. He's dealt with kids like Ryan before, with disabilities or emotional trauma, and often times he felt that the hospital was being used more as a temporary housing for them when they can't find immediate placement for them. The need to sedate Ryan indicated a more serious case in this instance but he wasn't willing to commit to that time frame without some kind of personal interaction first.

"Marilyn said she already had a placement lined up and, despite my disagreement with some of her actions, I don't think she was being untruthful about that. The thing is, I don't want Ryan to go to that placement. My wife and I would like Ryan to stay with us but we aren't approved foster parents and haven't gone through the proper process", Sandy tries to explain. He doesn't want Ryan stuck in the hospital for 72 hours but he could use a little more time. "We don't want him to keep getting bounced around. He knows us. I think he's comfortable with us."

Dr. Ellison says, "You are very good with him. I hope it works out. For everyone. I need to make out my initial report and call Mrs. Stark. I'll extend the 8 hour hold to a 24 hour hold but I'm hesitant to go beyond that, Mr. Cohen. Not without needing to give an substantive reason, which would have to go in his records. He's clearly in need of further counseling but I don't see anything truly alarming in his reactions. I can put in a word with DCFS but I doubt that will mean much outside of my capacity here."

"Anything you can do, Dr. Ellison. I appreciate it", Sandy says and they part ways.

Sandy makes his way back to Kirsten. "Call your father. We don't have much time."

Kirsten raises her eyebrows.

"I don't want him to get carried away but if he can call in some favors I'll do the same and maybe that, along with Dr. Ellison, can help us hurry this along and keep Ryan from going to a new home. I know I shouldn't have gotten his hopes up but I already told Ryan that we want him to live with us", Sandy explains.

"How did he react?", Kirsten asks.

Sandy frowns. "I don't think he believed me or maybe he just doesn't have any faith that things will work out. He was.....pretty subdued. Indifferent to the idea."

"Well, you can't really blame him. I know things at the Wards are a mess but there's no denying how much Carson cares for him. Luke, too. It's such a shame that all of that was ripped away just when he was really settling in......But he seemed all right otherwise?", Kirsten inquires.

Sandy nods. "He was a little disoriented at first but he calmed pretty quickly. The doctor spoke with him and seems to feel that Ryan doesn't need to remain for further observation but he did agree to extend the hold for 24 hours so we could have some time to try to work something out. It's not much but it's better than nothing."

Kirsten grasps his hand and squeezes. "Between you and my dad, he couldn't have better people working for him. It's time things start going in Ryan's favor, honey. He'll come home with us. Mark my words", she states firmly, a force to be reckoned with in her own right.

Sandy smiles with a renewed hope as she calls Caleb.

*****************************************

Kirsten goes home to update everyone and make sure things are getting done while Sandy decides to stay for the duration that Ryan will be there. Unwilling to leave until Ryan does, whether he goes home with them or not. He stays by Ryan's bed through the night, watching over him as he shifts restlessly, caught in bad dreams, ready to wake him if they seem too intense but he seems to quiet on his own. Once Ryan is awake he leaves to get coffee or something to eat but doesn't stay gone long. Ryan seems shocked every time Sandy walks back in. Sandy tells him that he'll be back each time he leaves the room but Ryan doesn't seem able to accept that it's true until Sandy follows through and comes through the door.

The morning is tense, when Marilyn comes by and asks Sandy to leave the room while she talks with Ryan. When she's finished Sandy pleads their case once again, letting her know that they're willing to jump through whatever hoops they need to in order to make it happen but Marilyn gives nothing away and he can't tell if he's having an impact on her decision or not.

Afternoon finds Sandy sitting by Ryan's bed, reading some legal papers for a client that he had his assistant bring over. Ryan is poking at his food and shooting furtive glances at Sandy, puzzled by his insistence on staying with him. No one's ever sat by his bedside for any length of time except when he was a kid and then it was Trey who watched over him. Carson checked on him every night when he was in the hospital that last time but he never stayed in his room overnight. Sandy occasionally looks up and catches him watching and he ducks his head. He just doesn't know what to make of it. He likes Sandy. He's nice and always makes him feel welcome when he's hanging out with Seth but he doesn't really understand why Sandy's _still _here. He was lucky enough to find one family that truly wanted to take him in, with the Wards, but now the Cohens, too? He's never had that kind of good luck in his whole life. There's got to be a catch.

Sandy surreptitiously watches Ryan as he tries to go over his papers. Catching him watching him in return. He sees the confusion on his face and watches as Ryan appears to be puzzling out some equation in his head. Something's not adding up for the kid and he has a feeling it's him. That's ok. They have time. He smiles to himself at the sudden firm belief that Ryan will be leaving this hospital with him. He feels it in his gut. The system isn't going to fail Ryan this time.


End file.
